Who's your elephant in your newsroom?

Hammer Pants · Jun 21, 2006

At least one person on our over-populated prep desk irritates me every week. Two of them work very hard, the others just don't. Some of them have been doing this forever and still have to be assigned anything to work. And one of them has turned down stories because it would take him over his "hours" ... he gets paid for 40 and works about 30, if that. They regularly piss me off to no end ... lazy ingrates.

Herbert Anchovy · Jun 21, 2006

wedgewood said:

1. The jerkoff columnist who shows up at 11, takes an hour-and-a-half for lunch, and is out of the building by 3:30. His '40-hour' workload consists of writing two 12-inch stories for a weekly entertainment pullout section and three bullshit columns. Bullshit meaning a tree falls in his backyard, so he grabs a photog to snap up a picture so he'll have art to accompany his take on how a tree fell in his backyard. Bullshit meaning how it's always one hell of a gas when he and his wife go out to dinner with the folks. Or what a pain in the neck it is to stand in line at the DMV. Or how it's exasperating to merge onto Busy Road at rush hour.
Shit of it is this asstard makes more money than any of the reporters who actually do work their 40 every week. On his timeslip he writes 11-7 Monday through Friday. I've worked their for several months, get in at 5 every day and I've seen the guy twice. His job is safe, though. Somewhere in town his face is on a billboard advertising our newspaper.

2. The other jerkoff columnist who insists on injecting race into just about every discussion. Who lately can't seem to make it through a day without calling one of his coworkers a bigot. Who can't have a conversation on the phone unless he's shouting, to the point where you want to take a sledgehammer to the side of the fool's skull. A know-it-all prick and pitiful excuse for a reporter since his best friend is the city's leading politician. And when he's not missing stories because it's too hard to fit into his 25-hour work week, he's usually out playing that everyman sport known as golf.

3. Perhaps she should be No. 1, but since she's such complete loser in life I'll cut her some slack. The Obit Lady. Universally despised for reasons too numerous to list, but I'll give it a try: Rude, overbearing, annoying, dumb (once asked someone how long it would take to cook filet mignon in the microwave), mean, greedy (waiting for her 90-something aunt to die so she can collect the inheritance), prejudiced, boastful, manipulative, disingenuous (always blathering on about so-and-so friend when everyone knows she has no friends), but most of all she's just downright pitiful. She works 12-hour days quite frequently because she's rather be around people who hate her than by herself. Sad.

4. The two-pack-a-day-smoking, get-in-by-noon-leave-by-six reporter who insists on filing half of her shit by email. And after three martinis, calls the paper from home to alert the night reporters of breaking news out in her neck of the woods.

5. The old guy on the desk who has absolutely no right to be employed with anything that involves reading and writing. Once handed him a photo to write a caption and he managed to misspell everyone of the girls from Desperate Housewives. Felicite Huffman, Eve Longoria, Terry Hatcher, Nicollete Sherdan and Marcica Cross.

And there's many, many, many, many more, mainly all the ones in charge who let this bullshit fly, but I'll stop right here. Thanks.
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That was a hell of a rant. Nicely done.

Why is it that the Obit Lady almost always seems to be the oldest, nastiest and thoroughly most unpleasant person on payroll?

BarbersGmen · Jun 21, 2006

wedgewood said:

1. The jerkoff columnist who shows up at 11, takes an hour-and-a-half for lunch, and is out of the building by 3:30. His '40-hour' workload consists of writing two 12-inch stories for a weekly entertainment pullout section and three bullshit columns. Bullshit meaning a tree falls in his backyard, so he grabs a photog to snap up a picture so he'll have art to accompany his take on how a tree fell in his backyard. Bullshit meaning how it's always one hell of a gas when he and his wife go out to dinner with the folks. Or what a pain in the neck it is to stand in line at the DMV. Or how it's exasperating to merge onto Busy Road at rush hour.
Shit of it is this asstard makes more money than any of the reporters who actually do work their 40 every week. On his timeslip he writes 11-7 Monday through Friday. I've worked their for several months, get in at 5 every day and I've seen the guy twice. His job is safe, though. Somewhere in town his face is on a billboard advertising our newspaper.

2. The other jerkoff columnist who insists on injecting race into just about every discussion. Who lately can't seem to make it through a day without calling one of his coworkers a bigot. Who can't have a conversation on the phone unless he's shouting, to the point where you want to take a sledgehammer to the side of the fool's skull. A know-it-all prick and pitiful excuse for a reporter since his best friend is the city's leading politician. And when he's not missing stories because it's too hard to fit into his 25-hour work week, he's usually out playing that everyman sport known as golf.

3. Perhaps she should be No. 1, but since she's such complete loser in life I'll cut her some slack. The Obit Lady. Universally despised for reasons too numerous to list, but I'll give it a try: Rude, overbearing, annoying, dumb (once asked someone how long it would take to cook filet mignon in the microwave), mean, greedy (waiting for her 90-something aunt to die so she can collect the inheritance), prejudiced, boastful, manipulative, disingenuous (always blathering on about so-and-so friend when everyone knows she has no friends), but most of all she's just downright pitiful. She works 12-hour days quite frequently because she's rather be around people who hate her than by herself. Sad.

4. The two-pack-a-day-smoking, get-in-by-noon-leave-by-six reporter who insists on filing half of her shit by email. And after three martinis, calls the paper from home to alert the night reporters of breaking news out in her neck of the woods.

5. The old guy on the desk who has absolutely no right to be employed with anything that involves reading and writing. Once handed him a photo to write a caption and he managed to misspell everyone of the girls from Desperate Housewives. Felicite Huffman, Eve Longoria, Terry Hatcher, Nicollete Sherdan and Marcica Cross.

And there's many, many, many, many more, mainly all the ones in charge who let this bullshit fly, but I'll stop right here. Thanks.
Click to expand...

Hilarious and sad at the same time. Fantastic rant.

spup1122 · Jun 21, 2006

We have a couple. Both are editors of various sections. All the reporters work their butts off to get the stuff done when we need to have it done.

Double J · Jun 22, 2006

Cadet said:

This wasn't a newsroom, but it's still a good story.

Woman in mid-to-late 30s, married with no kids. Hypocondriac, always going to the doctor. Couldn't write her way out of a paper bag but was hired for a writing position. Wasted a lot of other people's time who had to help her with assignments.

But the best part was the crying. She'd sit at her desk and just sob. Over work. Over her husband, who she was cheating on. Over the baby bird outside her window that got knocked out of its nest. Over her car. Sometimes twice a day she'd be crying. And not discreet, stress-release crying. Heaving sobs so that someone would have to pay attention to her.

We all wondered why she was still employed. Hell, our boss wondered why she was still employed. But as has been said, it's tough to fire someone.

Until she chased after a coworker one day with a knife someone had brought to cut a cake. Ran through the office screaming after her, making slicing motions. Straight out of a movie. The cops were called and apparently that was enough to get her fired.
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Looks like she got the last laugh. Bet you never thought she'd be a rich and (in)famous author someday.

tardreedo · Jun 22, 2006

Mine's a fellow reporter who is not in sports. She's terrible. She's an authority on EVERYTHING. The worst part is when having a conversation with her when you know she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. You could mention one little detail and she'll expand on it without ever making a point or ever improving what you said. She'll just take your views and run with them and make them her own. It's a friggin' amazing talent. Too bad she can't use that talent to improve her writing.

The only good thing I can say is she churns out the copy.

That doesn't mean it's good though.

Since my boss of our small shop was gone last week, I had to assume the editor duties. The reporter handed me a 29-inch story on a guy who was honored by the mayor at a town hall function for saving someone's life with CPR. The paragraph that mentioned the guy was being honored was in literally the fifth-to-last paragraph. It was impressive ...

Another former co-worker absolutely could not stand her. He (and the rest of the office) knew she was a total hack. He bitched to the boss several times about her, but the boss never did anything about it. I guess there are no rules against being an idiot. Damn ...

I try not to talk to her unless forced.

Her personal life is just a nightmare too. She's got four kids, but won't actually admit to anyone she has kids at all. I had mentioned in passing to another co-worker that she had kids and the co-worker was dumbfounded. The co-worker has been at our place for just under three years.

Apparently she's going through some custody battle with her ex and she's been missing a lot of work time due to the court proceedings. However, she won't say why she has to go to court, yet everyone knows what's going on. She also is nearly deaf. You have to repeat EVERYTHING you say to her and she refuses to get hearing aids. There are so many other things I could mention about her ...

Somebody rescue me.

DyePack · Jun 22, 2006

tardreedo said:

She also is nearly deaf. You have to repeat EVERYTHING you say to her and she refuses to get hearing aids.
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I worked with someone like this. It's extremely annoying, yet I don't know if the employer can do much about it.

Ace · Jun 22, 2006

DyePack said:

tardreedo said:

She also is nearly deaf. You have to repeat EVERYTHING you say to her and she refuses to get hearing aids.
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I worked with someone like this. It's extremely annoying, yet I don't know if the employer can do much about it.
Click to expand...

What did you say?

DyePack · Jun 22, 2006

Ace said:

DyePack said:

tardreedo said:

She also is nearly deaf. You have to repeat EVERYTHING you say to her and she refuses to get hearing aids.
Click to expand...

I worked with someone like this. It's extremely annoying, yet I don't know if the employer can do much about it.
Click to expand...

What did you say?
Click to expand...

It's more like:

"Huh?!"

200 times a day.

Ace · Jun 22, 2006

That's good.

shotglass · Jun 22, 2006

We've got one female editor in Living. And for all I know, she's good at what she does. But anytime I'm in dayside to do a special section or something like that, I can count on, at five points during the day, jumping three feet straight out of my chair when she finds something ... anything ... funny.

YEE-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Ace · Jun 22, 2006

shotglass said:

We've got one female editor in Living. And for all I know, she's good at what she does. But anytime I'm in dayside to do a special section or something like that, I can count on, at five points during the day, jumping three feet straight out of my chair when she finds something ... anything ... funny.

YEE-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Click to expand...

Good thing she doesn't read SportsJournalists.com. She would be ROTFLOL

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