Why are you weird?

WCV's McCartney story is easily one of the funniest things I've ever read on here.

 

I wish I could shake Billie Joe Armstrong's hand and tell him I got head while listening to "Dookie." Only then will my life be complete.

 

And well, well, well. If you've got an hour, I've got the power. Joel...You'll marvel at the size as I'm in between your thighs...GERTNER.

 

Thanks, and yes, great pull. I would use that for an avatar, but you've made me laugh with it the couple of times you've posted it on here.

 

Oh, and I met Willie Nelson last week, but I didn't have any good stories to tell him, other than to thank him for running reruns of The Porter Wagoner Show on his RFD network.

His hand was a lot softer than Paul's, btw.

 

- I couldn't care less about college football.

- I don't own a winter jacket.

- I freeze Cool Whip instead of buying ice cream.

- I like A-1 Sauce on turkey.

- When eating at a fast food restaurant, I fill my cup with every soft drink available.

 

Sweet! A Suicide. I used to love making those. I went heavy on the orange soda for the fizz.

 

Yeah, it's really not as horrible as one would think.

I've always dug the Cherry Coke-Orange combination.

 

I didn't own a winter jacket for six years, which made living in New York a bitch in the colder months -- October to March.

 

Why am I weird? Let me count the ways...

* I LOVE sweet and salty combinations of food. Doritos and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, for example. A bite of the chocolate and peanut butter, get the taste in my mouth like a good wine, then munch a handful of nacho cheese chips. Or a chocolate-filled donut and a sausage and cheese kolache.

* I'm addicted to the Sims and will spend hours designing the most obscene and garish houses imaginable, with suits of armor and majestic fountains in my bedroom, campfires in my bathroom and dart boards on the wall by the swimming pool.

* When I had access to video editing equipment, I dubbed hours of sports highlights, scenes from various championship videos, etc. When I need a pick-me-up, I watch a few minutes of it.

* If I'm watching a really close game on TV, I'll keep my body in the same spot and position as much as possible for fear of jinxing my team.

* I will read, in sequential order, all books in a series. Not that odd, unless you consider that I'll do it with Doonesbury, Dilbert or Charlie Brown.

* If I find something funny once, I usually find it funny 200 times, as well.

* I get mad at some of the stupid solutions detailed in the many volumes of Encyclopedia Brown. Ignorant fucking criminals!!!

 

During the days when it's not beyond ridiculously cold here (which is most of the time), I'm content to wear a winter coat with a Redskins cap and a pair of fuzzy red ear muffs. I justify it by saying it reminds me of the Joe Gibbs look, especially since I wear glasses.

When it does get to be cold as Mike's sex life here, that's when I break out the real winter hat.

 

I'm perfectly normal.

Y'all are really fucked up.