Why I love Friday nights

Why I love Friday nights? High School Cheerleaders!

 

Um, uhh. Welcome to the board. :-\

 

Once covered a game during the middle of the season here in northwest Ohio at a small local school. Remember, this is in the middle of the regular season.
When I entered the stadium I looked for the usual suspects selling programs, but couldn't find anyone, so I headed to the press box and asked around up there. I was informed the school had sold all of its programs for the year (which at the time appeared to consist of just the rosters) and wouldn't be bothering with printing more.
Did I mention this was the middle of the regular season? Luckily they had a few extra copies in the press box and one of the workers gave me one.

 

A school in these parts has the words "Football Media Guide" displayed on the cover of its program.

Football media guide. Yeah, right. The rosters were the only things of value to the media in that program.

While I'm on a rant about football programs and idiotic booster clubs ...

Another school in the coverage area puts together this ungodly thick football program. I think it was 72 pages last year....and it's mostly these ads from Mama, Daddy, little brother and sissy, Mamaw and Papaw, Meme and PeePaw (and other stupid names referring to grandparents), Aunt Skanky and Uncle Crackhead, businesses, churches, etc., wishing good luck to their favorite Johnny Ballplayer, Suzy Cheerleader or Nerdo Bandmember. Yup, even band members got ads in the football program.

I kid you not: Eight pages of ads in last year's program were devoted to the girl who wore the tiger mascot outfit during games.

Last year's program had a different cover for each home game, but the rest of the program remained the same ol' shitload of ads. And they charged $5 for this.

And if you cover a game there, good luck finding the visitors' roster in that monster of a program because there's a good chance it won't be there. Apparently, the booster club thinks it's too much work to secure visiting rosters. I asked the football booster club MILFs selling the programs at the gate why no visitor roster, and they always say in a whiny tone, "They didn't send us one."

I go into the press box asking the people there if they have a visting roster. Once again, they don't have one because "They didn't send us one" and they'll go the entire game ID'ing opposing players only by their numbers.

Oh, did I mention that the aforementioned school with the ungodly thick game program that rarely has the visiting team's roster has had only two winning seasons in football since 1981?

Maybe the money from the ad sales go toward those lovely parting gifts to senior players and cheerleaders after another 1-9 season. I'm sure some of the money previously raised went toward that huge inflatable tiger head the home team runs through en route to another 40-0 ass whooping by the visitors.

 

I recently tendered my notice to take a non-sports job at a daily newspaper in my hometown. For the first time since late in the 1996 season, I won't be covering a high school football game or working the desk three Fridays from now. It's going to be surreal.

 

I got out of the office last week for a prep football game for the first time in four years.

Big Local School made me pay for a program (it's $1, so I didn't bitch). Then I get up to the press box and the rosters were laying in my spot. Oh well, it's only $1.

Sat in the press box next to Big Local School's assistants. One coach threw an absolute shit-fit on two plays _ even though his team scored on both plays _ because one of the offensive lineman missed a block. Coach is pounding on the wall and dropping F-bombs left and right.

Oh, and when the game got out of hand and Big Local School fell behind the No. 1 team in the state, parents below the press box started yelling up at the coaches, "Play all of the kids! They work hard every week!" So, they start putting in the second and third string players _ and No. 1 team marches down the field with its third and fourth stringers and tacks on another two touchdowns. Parents start bitching. Coach says, loud enough for us in the box to hear, "Well, you wanted us to play everyone. Now you know why they don't play."

 

The hell you can't. That might have been my lead.

All too often in this business, especially when it comes to Prep Pickems, College predictions, NFL predictions, we act like we can't be wrong. I know people that literally agonize over these things because: 1) They're afraid they might be wrong; 2) They're afraid the team they pick against will be offended.

My response is:
1) At my paper, on average, we make roughly 60 predictions per week (30-40 prep FB games, another 5 or so college and then the NFL slate. I doubt we've ever come close to getting them all right.

2) They're not really offended. Most coaches just like to give you a little shit. If you take it good-naturedly or give it right back in good nature, it can actually be a positive. And if you run into that asshole coach who is dead serious, give the obligatory "uh-huh" and "right" and then pray they lose every game the rest of the year.

 

Reminds me of an oft-repeated tale of mine that might out me, but at this point who gives a shit?

One conference in our area was dominated by two teams year in, year out. Rarely did a year go when their end-of-year game didn't determine the conference title. One year this newer school had their best year ever, starting something like 6-0 with the two conference powers coming in weeks 8 and 9. I was assigned to cover their week 7 game, at home against a middle of the pack team.

The person who covered the game also wrote the walk-up story and made the prediction. I wrote my 12 inches of mediocrity, then picked Newer School to win 19-16. Wake up the next morning, see my story had been largely untouched ... except now it had Middle of the Pack School winning 19-16. I called the office and discovered that the acting high school editor had changed my pick because he wanted to motivate Newer School by underrating them so they'd go out and win, making the games against the two powers that much bigger. I was nonplussed, and sure enough, Newer School wins 21-16, and I hear about it from a couple of the players afterwards. But what could I tell them? Hey guys, I picked you to win, but the Prognostication Fairy decided to fuck around with my guess?

 

After reading this thread, I am beginning to think we're the only ones who get rosters in the preseason and keep a folder in the office of duplicate copies.
Oh, and a call to the visiting school's AD or their hometown paper usually gets a faxed roster pretty damn quickly.

 

If an editor did that to my copy, not only would I quit, but I'd do my level-headed best to get that piece of shit editor canned. Who the fuck does he think he is?

 

I noted it to the main SE, but nothing came of it. He was only temporary anyway, and actually a pretty good reporter and guy. Just someone who got a little full of himself at times. Plus I was a part-time schlep. My departure would have triggered, under the right atmospheric conditions, a mild yawn at best.

 

Why don't you have a seat over there?