Why So Bitter, Herb? 2014 Edition (page 14)

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Happy Passover, if that's possible.)

BREAKING NEWS: KOSHER COKE ON SALE NOW!!

Saw some in the store today. Get some before Boom wipes out the entire national inventory.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/03192007/news/regionalnews/kosher__coke_a_big_hit_regionalnews_rita_delfiner.htm

(Not starting a new thread for 2008....I love this one, especially shockey's parents and EStreet's recipes and lono's suggestion for the four shots of vodka instead of the wine.)

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

Kosher Coke and Mexican Cokes are the same, right? Both use pure cane sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup.

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

Jones Soda: HFC-free and better than Coke.

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

Got any new tales of Mom, Sis or LinZee, 21?

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

no lie, 21. mother of shockey called 10 minutes ago to ask if our best buds here in town would be attending again this year. sadly, no, 'cause they'll be at their family's on night 1.

mom: "oh, that's too bad. we soooo enjoyed them. they fit right in. tell them they'll be missed. oh, well, maybe next year. oh, and please have mrs. shockey call when she has a chance. i want to know if she needs more drinking glasses. i can get some at 'home goods.' your father hates taking me there but i just love it! how are the boys? can't wait to see them. i miss them soooo much. oh, and uncle jerry's been transferred to the rehab center. he's still in soooo much pain from that broken hip. it meant soooo much when you called him, dear. i don't know how aunt sheila will survive without him doing everything for her. she tried to guilt me into going down to boca to help her, but she has to understand i'm not 16 anymore. am i wrong? never mind. i have to do what's best for me. how's your cold? better? good. i don't want you to be sick for passover. we soooo enjoy the children on this holiday. and since it's on a saturday, your father won't be such a grouch about rushing home -- no alternate-side parking on saturdays. it's a mitzvah." 8) 8) 8)

she never came up for air, i swear. and i never needed to respond. perfect.

12 days and counting....

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

Kosher Ruffles? What make it kosher? Is it a blessing or how things are actually made?

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

Keep Boom away from the Gristede's on 1st Avenue, please, until I can get over there to load up. For egg cream fans, this is also the time to load up on kosher U-Bet chocolate syrup - also made with cane sugar in honor of the holiday.

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

Gristede's on 1st is where all the tourists shop on their way to the Airport

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

Locals go to the Associated Supermarket on the corner of 1st and 14th. Use my name.

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

My aunt always insisted on making tiny little matzo balls for Pesach soup. Never knew why. So one holiday my uncle says, "Do you know why matzo have such small balls?"

"No."

"Because," he says, "very few matzo know how to dance!"

Thanks, I'll be at the Tarleton all week!

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

mother of shockey just called yet again. i'd left my father a message that we needed no drinking glasses.

"what about wine glasses?" m of s said. "we can get those at 'home goods,' too, dear. what, dear? oh, you have?"

"um, yes, mom, remember? we used them at chanuka."

"oh, yes, that's right, i remember now," m of s said. "just wanted to be sure the boys hadn't broken them since december."

yeah, 'cause we all know what lushes we encourage the shockey boys to be.

"no, mom. we tell the boys just to swig right from the bottle."

"oh, shockey, you're terrible!" m of s said. "my grandsons would never do that."

can't make this stuff up.

m of s's brisket makes all this lead-up nonsense worth it.

 

Re: Why So Bitter, Herb? (Kosher Coke Update, 2008)

I've got dibs on the roasted egg.