worst/cheesiest sports movie?

One thing that struck me about Blue Chips was the press conference at the end. There's Ed O'Neil asking Nolte's character in front of a packed room of media and boosters about cheating. He spends the whole movie chasing this story, and there he is bringing it up in front of everybody else. And then he's happy that instead of breaking it himself, he has to watch Nolte hand it to the whole world?

Somebody should have explained to the writer that a reporter's job is to break the story in his own outlet BEFORE everybody else gets it.

 

the winner of worst piece of shit ever is The Game of Their Lives. You haven't heard of it you say? It's a 2005 film about the United States' upset of England in the 1950 World Cup. There are movies mentioned in this thread which are clearly awful pieces of dung, but what seperates this film from the rest of the pack is the pedigree of the filmmakers involved. These were the people who brought us Rudy and Hoosiers.

I'm convinced they shat this film out in a half day. It's clearly unfinished and underfinanced. Since it's based on a wonderful short book of the same name, there's really no excuse to cut corners, yet they did. It's a complete work of fiction. The only truth in the movie is the fact that the United States won 1-0. Everything else is made the fuck up.

The United States played games before and after England during that World Cup, yet there is no mention of these games in this film. How do you end a film without showing or mentioning the conclusion is beyond me. It just fucking ends after the victory. And the narration by Patrick Stewart makes me want to kill. He is supposed to be a real journalist who actually covered that match in 1950. He's shown at a recent MLS All-Star Game talking about the team to some cub reporter about the game. The man Stewart is playing died in 1976.

Acting is horrible all around. The standout horror is England's star Stanley Mortensen played by Mr. Gwen Stefani Gavin Rossdale. One of the kids from Home Improvement is in the cast as well.

Worst scene - The team standing on a tarmac in Brazil shortly after landing and getting a speech by military leaders stationed there. Xenophobic, faux patriotic trash of the worst kind. All fictional too.

 

Want to torture a Notre Dame hater? Lock him in a room with this crap.

Actually, it's one of those movies produced by someone who assumes that everybody loves Notre Dame.

 

Over the last day or so I realized we forgot some real stinkers:

- American Flyers - how could we have forgotten Kevin Costner's movie about two brothers in a bicycle race. Contains the famous line of a male cyclist saying to a female tv reporter "You wouldn't know a fact if it banged you all night"

- Ice Princess -- Kim Catrall as a figure skating coach

- The Cutting Edge   -- Hockey player who trains to become a pairs figure skater and makes the Olympics when at nationals a pair gets tangled up in eachother's leiderhosen

 

Excellent point. That was idiotic. I had forgotten that he had been sitting on the story.

 

Topless? Haven't seen it in a few years, but as I recall, she's fuzzy-wuzzy nekkid in a couple scenes.

Sure gives ya a different perspective on the BTTF series.

 

Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme
Get on up, it's bobsled time
Cool Runnings!!!

 

The Cutting Edge was cheesy as all hell, but Moira Kelly in a skating skirt for two hours made up for it. The pouty ice princess look was something of a turn-on. She never looked better before or after that movie.

Ed definitely is top 3. The only reason Major League III was made was because Ucker had provocative photos on someone and promised to cash in on them if he didn't get another Harry Doyle payday. I'd have to add the HS football flick with the big headed guy from Dawson's Creek on this list as well.

The horrible hoops movie with Dwayne Wayne was "The 6th Man."

 

TIE DOMI: (canned from the Leafs) -- Can't find a photo and it may not be a movie per se, but it was still produced on a VHS, so that counts! I'm pretty sure it was training video.

As far as acting goes, my vote is...any Air Bud/MVP/animal-based film. God awful, but still makes you want to cry.

 

Contender for worst sports movie and definitely Kevin Costner's worst baseball movie:

For Love of the Game

The ONLY thing I liked about this movie was seeing Augie Garrido, current Texas baseball coach and former Cal State Fullerton coach (Costner's a CSF alum), as the Yankees manager. Wonder if the money Garrido got for the movie went in his pocket or if it went back into the CSF program.

 

Much as I'd like to go for Rudy, I have to say...
Field Of Dreams.
God, what a mire of treacle.

 

Almost a year later, for me it's still Rudy... I hate that movie like a fucking sickness...