worst leads you have seen

I read one the other day that compared one high school team to Ivan Drago and the other to Rocky Balboa, notably the scene where Balboa cuts Drago early in the fight. At the very least use Clubber Lang so you can use the pain or pity the fool quotes.

 

I'm a big fan of the Bon Jovi reference: "They're all the same, only the names have changed."

Yes, I've seen it twice (at my shop!!)

 

A pair of winners from the only guy I've ever run off. Mean looks and constantly re-writing his whole damn stories did the trick:

A feature in a small town weekly about twins playing together on the soccer team:

"It's rare for family members to play on the same high school team. It's even more rare for twins to play on the same team."

Uh, no it's not. Brothers playing with brothers is an every day occurrence at schools large and small, ESPECIALLY small.
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Then, during a late August heat wave:

"Temperatures soared Thursday afternoon as the Bastards opened their season. It should only get hotter as the season goes on."

Really? It's going to be hotter in the Midwest in October than it is in at the end of August? Because I doubt it. As it turned out, it wasn't 100 degrees on Oct. 15, so the guy was a liar. And an idiot.

 

go bastards!!!

 

The Broncos are God's team?

 

I don't have a lede that qualifies but I'd include this in the "worst threads you have seen" discussion.

Picking on stringers is the equivalent of blocking a 6-year-old's layup on the playground, especially considering behind every bad stringer there's a sports editor who hired him.

 

I swatted that 6-year-old's garbage to the slide, though. Bring that weak shit 'round here, get dealt with.

 

who says these are all from stringers?

 

One of my stringers actually sent me a gamer with a line like that in it tonight.
Second paragraph started like this: "Podunk High won the coin toss and got ready to receive the opening kick."

I guess I should be glad it wasn't the lede.

 

Five of 20+ uses of "tale of two halves" from the last week alone (names changed) ...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Sound like a Charles Dickens novel? Hardy High School played two halves of football Friday evening and so did Bugle, but the Panthers had the best of times in the second half and almost pulled out an Eastern Conference victory.

It was a tale of two halves for the Raytown High boys soccer team in its game against Danford. Despite having the lead, the Commodores were not happy with their play in the first half on Saturday. The second was a marked improvement as they took advantage of their opportunities and cruised to a 7-2 win at home.

It was a tale of two halves on Friday night at Jacobs Field. After being dominated by host Gleason for the first 40 minutes of play, the St. Patrick boys soccer team recovered and pulled off a 180-degree turn in the second stanza, overcoming a one-goal deficit with two second-half goals to pull out a 2-1 win.

It was a tale of two halves for both Rock Creek and West High Saturday night as the Bulldogs (2-0) took a bite out of the Falcons in a 31-10 win.

It was a tale of two halves and two overtimes Friday night at Harrison Stadium.

 

Please tell me this was all from one writer. I'll get a chubby.

 

I'd have two words for that writer.