Worst Movie You Ever Paid to See

I've paid to see quite a few bad movies that I expected to be bad. When Chicago was in driving distance, I'd go to B-Fest at Northwestern every January. Lots of memorable stinkburgers there -- Octoman, Battlefield Earth, How to Spot a Communist, Can Heironymous Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness, plus the obligatory midnight showing of Plan 9 from Outer Space.

As far as movies I didn't expect to be bad, top spot for me has to go to Prometheus. Alien is one of my favorite films and I was happy to see Ridley Scott back in the director's chair after a run of mediocre sequels, but I've never been angrier upon leaving a movie theater. One mind-crushingly dumb decision after another with a cynical, probably studio-mandated Xenomorph cameo right near the end. It was all gorgeously shot -- Ridley Scott's cinematographer credentials are still in good order -- but the visuals never stood a chance at salvaging such awful writing.

 

“The Horse Whisperer”. My future wife was a big fan of the novel, so she wanted to see it. Partway through, she fell asleep. I couldn’t blame her. The movie is nearly three hours long, and you know Robert Redford is going to hook up with the girl’s mom and you know the girl is going to ride the horse again, so why does it take so long to get to those parts?

Once the popcorn ran out, I nudged my future wife awake, told her she fell asleep, and suggested we go home. Only film I’ve ever walked out on.

 

No one pays for Bruce Willis movies anymore?

 

Killing Them Softly

I usually see movies I know I'm going to like, and you look at this cast and think it's going to be pretty good but ugh.

 

The Talented Mr. Ripley

I wanted all those annoying twats to die.

 

Three years as a teen, I worked at a movie theater, so I got to see the movies for free.

One day, I went to see that Crocodile Hunter movie. It was so bad, I walked out. We even had "Pearl Harbor" and it was worse than that.

Worst movies I remember seeing as a paying customer? "Baseketball" and "Don't be a Menace in South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood."

Probably more that I was ashamed to have asked my uncle and my dad to take me to those.

 

Ishtar - - by a mile

The Martian Chronicles - - distant second

 

I don't go to many movies, maybe 2-3 a year. The worst one I remember was "Hail, Caesar!" Had heard it was supposed to be so great and I left the theatre thinking, "WTF? That movie sucked."

 

CHUD
Threesome, with Lara Flynn Boyle, Josh Charles and Stephen Baldwin

 

Groundhog Day.

Stay with me here for a minute.

As an 18-year-old on a date, it just didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t until I became older that I understood all of the meaning. Now I’ll watch it every time.

Last Action Hero
Anchorman was terrible in a theatre but I’ll watch when it comes on.

 

- I liked History of the World, but haven't watched it since college. Not sure if it will hold up. I know that when I got married, I was so excited to watch some of these movies with my wife (who has a great sense of humor), and when we watched Young Frankenstein - which I loved, I couldn't remember why I thought it was funny the first time.

- I'm apparently fortunate to have never heard of many of these.

-My worst? Nothing but Trouble, Hudson Hawk and The Pickup Artist.