Worst published picture of yourself ...

Do I dare ask, what sort of demonstration to a group of children would entail wearing a "big rubber pig nose"?

 

Many years ago, a column hed that really made me look like a member of the Manson gang, minus the "X" scar on my forehead.

 

I wish that were merely an "x" on Manson's.

 

I've already own worse pictures of you than that one.

 

In the early 90's -- college days -- I was one of the seemingly millions of people who thought mullets were rad! I only have a college ID pic that shows it in its full glory (unfortunately, the ID pic doesnt show my equally rad Zubaz pants with matching shirt and water socks). Anyhow, during those days I was so high and drunk most of the time and fighting with my parents that actual photos are practically extinct. It is sad too because I look back on those days fondly (I had a lot of fun, needless to say) and really wish I had a photo to show the true dumbass A-hole I was.

 

The first paper I really worked for did high school picks on Friday and it just so happened that year, Halloween fell on a Friday. The SE got the brilliant idea to change everyone's mugs for that one issue.
So they photoshopped me bald and then stretched it out to make me look like a conehead. Others got pirate eye patches and snaggly teeth. Another guy got a mullet and it was a sweet mullet, or maybe he already had a mullet, that's lost in the fog of time.
It was pretty Fing awful.
That was the year, I would always pick an upset. The SE didn't want everyone to have the same team picked, so, since I was the newest, I would always have the last pick and if everyone else had the same team, I had to pick the other.
It was awesome.

 

I had a column for a weekly, and they asked me to send a photo. I cropped my face out of a shot of me dancing with a lass in full German dress, lederhosen and all. It actually worked well. You couldn't really tell that I was drunk in Vegas with a Lowenbrau in my hand and one foot hiked into the air.

The worst photo would have to be 7th grade yearbook. It was the only day of my entire school life that I went to school without grooming. I don't recall the specifics, but I was running late. So my hair was ratty and I was wearing a faded Ocean Pacific tee.

And somewhere in the world is a photo of me smoking out of a four-foot bong. It was taken at a party, and I remember thinking that my political career had been ruined before it ever began. Hell, I might run for Senate some day just to get a copy of the photo.

 

There are no bad pictures of Cristiano...

 

It's a conference media day.

It's a conference media day in the same vicinity as a baseball park.

It's a conference media day in the same vicinity as a baseball park that was holding a $1 beer night the evening before.

The next day, the AP opts to shoot a photo of Joe Heisman candidate (except he really wasn't...I think he's working at Popeye's now or something,) speaking before the usual throng of media. Poor Old Yours Truly was standing at the forefront of said throng, and I looked like someone had spent the morning defecating in my breakfast cereal.

Upon getting back to the office, my workspace was plastered with printouts of this picture. Of course.

 

It was a summer reading program and the person leading the event was making all the adults in the room demonstrate animal noises as part of some farm story.

 

you will have to show ME that pic. I have never seen it or heard that story