Wow, that hurts

I gotta believe childbirth is right up there with Cadet's story.

 

Covered a HS game the other night of a team with which I was unfamiliar, and find out the team's star linebacker was out. ...

One of his nuts ruptured, so they had to slice open the bag, take out the nut, sew it back up, then sew the bag back up.

Coach expected him back by Oct. 1.

 

Child birth is often described as really severe cramps. The difference is that some childbirths are easy and seem painless. What Cadet described could NEVER be painless.

 

Described by whom, 80 year old men? I was only half serious about cadet's post, but I really hope you're not serious about yours.

Here's one for the women: Girlfriend of mine goes rollerblading, has to go over a metal bar railing. Slips as she's climbing over it....crashes down directly onto her vagina.

The swelling and bruising was so bad the ER wanted to call the police and do a rape kit in case she was covering up an attack. She was catheterized for weeks until the swelling around the urethra subsided. Didn't walk for two months, and no sex for six months. She will never be able to carry a baby to term, if at all.

Not the same as a butterflied penis, but still....ouch.

 

Wow. Falling so hard you have to be catheterized?

Ouch.

 

Several "in shape" female friends of mine have said it feels like REALLY severe cramps until the actual birth. I'd say they're probably different from 90 percent of the population, but I wasn't completely kidding on mine.

I haven't had kids myself, so I can't really judge for this. Maybe these women are just more tolerant to pain.

 

Buddy of mine had a vasectomy and the doctor started doing it BEFORE the anaesthesia took effect. Doc apologized for that one.
Cadet's post made me wince, oh man, that's going to stick with me for a looooong time.

 

Did you know that Hitler had one ball? Maybe he had one ball, and two strikes against him ... [/carlin]

 

Childbirth like cramps? I know many people who would disagree. Especially those who have had an episiotomy. A C-section done well sucks. An emergency C-section where they just have to rip the baby out is likely a pain reserved for the seventh circle of hell.

And a catheter for a woman is much worse than a catheter for a man. 21, I feel for your friend.

 

Cadet's post made me cry.

A guy I went to school with somehow hurt himself on a farris wheel (I think his cart jolted forward or something and he somehow bagged himself on the safety bar) so bad that he required surgery to relieve the swelling.

When I was playing hockey I took a slap shot to the nuts at close range twice. The first time the cup was slightly off centre and I took it right on the right edge of the cup which happend to be runnign over my right nut. Strangely I had so much adrenaline pumping though me at the time the pain didn't kick in till the game ended about 45 seconds later (I had a guy who made me look small trying to beat the crap out of me as all hell brokeout infront of the net). THe nut swelled up pretty good and I didn't move off the couch with a strategically place ice bag for the rest of the night. The swelling had subsided by morning.

The other time the pain was immediate and I had to crawl off the ice. my coach was on the bench laughing his ass off and wouldn't let the ref blow the whistle despite the puck being in our own end. I was out of comission for most of the period.