Wow, that hurts

I'll join the list of those running a distant second to Cadet's story.

A buddy and I were climbing trees once when he slid down and caught his sack on a broken limb (sticking out about two inches). Ripped it open. Both fell out.

Same guy 6 months later was riding his go-kart when he hit a tree and smashed his balls into the pole that runs from the steering wheel, between the legs and to the floor of the vehicle. Busted it open. Again, both fell out.

Poor bastard.

 

When you say "both fell out," what happened next? Were they able to put them back in? I was under the impression they don't "fall out" too easily?

 

My wife needed a C-section at the last minute (read: not emergency). Happened around 8 in the morning.

The nurses then decide to get her up around 4 p.m. to see if she can go to the bathroom. I never heard her scream or saw that much blood before.

 

Well, if the Glad bag rips, the grapes tend to dangle. As long as they don't fall off the stem, you can put them back in.

At least I think you can.

 

It doesn't quite compare but:
As I mentioned in passing seeral months, I was riding my bike, as I do almost every day, and got run off the road.
This is just a bicycle, not a motorcycle.
Anyway, guy takes a right turn really wide and almost hits me, at about 10 p.m. I, traveling at a pretty good clip, swerve to my left to avoid getting smashed.
My right hand grip catches the side-view mirror of a parked car. My bike comes to a suddent stop; my body's forward momentum does not.
The gooseneck of the handlebars catches me just to the right of my personal area, causing a femoral hernia.
I flip over the handbars and land face-first, scraping the skin off the entire right side of my face, cracking my right upper jaw and suffering a mild concussion.

 

That's kinda what I thought...

 

I believe Arnie Becker suffered from this same condition in a memorable episode of "LA Law."

 

Yes, they were both exposed. Maybe "fell out" was a little exaggerated, but I plainly saw his nuts, squared.

 

This may be the worst, most hideous and yet funny as hell thread I have every read. And I apologize for starting this thread to all of us men who are cringing right now from these god-awful stories.