Wow... this was a new one for me

Happen to me? How do you think I supplement my income enough to buy groceries?

 

Way back in the day, a desk guy at my old newspaper used to shake down the commissioners of Little Leagues for bribes in order to list their scores.
When I started, he was still there, and bragging about it.

 

Hope that A-hole got fired!

 

Wait, so you took the money, right AM?

 

Guy didn't pony up enough. I have expensive tastes. Keyboards don't diamond-encrust themselves.

 

ATM?

I told my boss and publisher we should allow people to buy their way out of the court and police reports.
Charge an exorbitant fee, say a $1,000
BUT .. create a separate listing for those individuals who opt to pay up to keep their good name out of the paper - without listing the criminal charge.

 

The closest I come is when we're running notices about leagues forming and signups and whoever I'm talking to asks if there's any charge.
I had more than a fleeting thought to say, "Yeah, 20 bucks to the Walter Burns retirement fund."

 

I could see myself being cordial up until that point. What a dick.

 

No doubt. Not that I would ever think about taking the money, but if there was any doubt, that would have done it.

 

I'd tell him I'd want 30 percent of whatever the boosters gave the family or $2,000, whichever is more. Add $1,000 if he wants it above the fold.

 

My reply, "Alright, if I need it, that's the price to keep me from writing about you trying to bribe me in my next column. Take it or leave it."

 

After about pick seven, I'd have walked over to the dad and said, "You know, I'm gonna do that story now. Free of charge."