Writer Cat Fight

The Attention Whore of Montana started his blog preaching professionalism. Oh. My. God.

Would someone call a writer at Deadspin and have them do a post about The Attention Whore of Montana so he can get back to working on his house and interviewing his friends/closet-awards-chasers from gangrey.com?

 

This thread reminds me of why newspaper writers generally aren't supposed to write comments on their own stories posted to a paper's website.

 

Boom, I have to hand it to you, that Nicholson picture literally made me piss my pants a little. Like, I laughed so hard I urinated into my pants and then my pants were wet and I had to change my pants. Many minutes later, I'm dry, but I'm still laughing. Sincerely.

Look, guys, you know this is all because I dared to write a blog about my disappointment about not being nominated for an award? That's how this all started. And then I get called Jayson Blair and repeatedly charged at by some incredibly transparent twat (who's getting a pretty free pass for that, I have to say), and written about like I'm some kind of dangerous specter—"friends of my friends who barely know him have told me that he's a sociopath"—and now I'm the bad guy because I dared fight back.

Well, I'm going to fight back. That's how I'm built. You don't like it, I'm sorry. I've kind of grown tired of trying to calculate what's okay and not okay by other people's standards. I'm going to do what I think is okay. I hope that's... okay.

I didn't make anybody read my blog. I didn't charge any money for it. I'm not emailing it to classrooms. I just wrote it, as I always write it, emptying whatever's in my head. Sometimes, I hope, that will be useful information; I'm sure it's also, occasionally, the sound of me eating peanuts.

I do it because I enjoy doing it, and because I literally have 1,042 emails unanswered in my inbox (and now several PMs here) asking me for advice. I give it as honestly as I can. That's all it is.

You want to call me whatever you want to call me to make yourself feel better? Good for you. Knock yourself out. But no free passes. Just because it's the Internet doesn't mean the rules of real life don't apply here. If someone said the shit that's been said about me on here to my face, I wouldn't walk away, and I don't think many of you in the tsk-tsk brigade would, either.

So, ball up your tiny fists all you'd like, sweet, translucent daemon. I look forward to your email, even though we both know it will never, ever, ever, not in a million years, come.

jgorden, you impotent pussy, you weird writer-stalker creep, I haven't lived in Montana for two years. I miss it, though. Great bars.

Martin, every post you make is snark. You're not brave. You're a coward on the margins of the margins. I have a feeling that even daemon is more popular than you in real life.

Watched Iron Man tonight, finally. Nice to sit on the couch for a spell. Thought it was good. Robert Downey Jr.'s funny. The whole movie was funnier than I expected, actually. I thought the fire-extinguishing robot had great comedic timing.

 

lurkation turned ... smarmy!

 

It might be about calling someone a twat. Let's wait for the objective ruling.

 

For someone who thinks he's better than Shakespeare, you seem to have hit a mundane patch.

I'll tell you what you would do if someone said this stuff to your face. Nothing, except maybe wet your pants for real.

 

Christ almighty. Make this all stop. By now, I don't think anyone is covering themselves in glory, though I loved printdust's last post, even if I don't agree every scintilla of it.

Maybe I need to get the board high again.

 

This argument isn't worth more than seed-heavy ditch weed, Bubs.

 

This thread is awesome, and Jones' last post was perfect. No one gets anywhere on a message board solely on the force of their words. No matter how beautifully put together they may be. Either you ignore the bait, or you get in the mud and get dirty. But you have to do it knowing there's no knockout blows. Say your piece, say it well, make some jokes and come back for more later. Online Survival 101.

 

I make my living in a different field but I honestly don't understand the vitriol around Jones' blog. I can get all the audience approval in the world but it means nothing compared to the approval of my peers. That's what I took from his post and I understand that feeling completely.

And yes, I probably take a lot of the hatred too personally because I've met Chris Jones and consider him a good man, a great writer and a friend.

 

My sig. That is so many kinds of awesome.

 

It's true.

This man has no dick.