Writing poll questions

I just had to write one, my first one ever. It felt like a complete waste of time. I don't see the point. It's not like people are going to specifically go to our Web site just to vote in a poll. And once they're there on our site, is a poll really going to make them stick around?

 

As noted on another thread, it's all part of feeding the beast.

 

Perhaps, but one day the beast is going to get tired of being fed all this dogshit and then is going to vomit into the big newspaper fan.

How's that for mixing metaphors and cliches?

 

Dug this one back up mostly to note that, over the last couple of weeks, no poll topic gets more responses more quickly than any question concerning Michael Vick.

 

What should happen to Michael Vick?

a) strung up by testicles
b) stung up by testicles and forced to watch 600 hours of New Jersey Devils highlights
c) strung up by testicles, forced to watch 600 hours of New Jersey Devils highlights and repeatedly poked by a big stick
d) strung up by testicles, foirced to watch 600 hours of New Jersey Devils highlights, repeatedly poked by a big stick and fed to wild cats.

Try that one.

 

Well, "make a plea deal" is a popular choice ... but wrong.

 

"Is NASCAR a sport?"

Yes, the drivers are great athletes.
Yes, but only because golf is one, too.
No, the cars do all the work.
No, because I drive everyday and I turn right 51 percent of the time.

You will surely get a lot of responses to this one. I know we have.

 

You win five million dollars from the Publisher's Sweepstakes, and the same day that that big Ed guy gives you the check, aliens land on the earth and say they're going to blow up the world in two days. What do you do?

 

I write the poll questions at our paper, and the one I came up with on Vick indeed got the most responses the fastest.

 

Awesome.

 

David Beckham is?

a) The saviour of soccer in the U.S.
b) My plumber
c) The odds on favorite to win SummerSlam XXI
d) Prettier than Posh

(inspired by the SuperLiga game I'm watching right now)

 

Buy two tickets for seats on the aliens' spaceship and pay them enough to agree to provide me with a home on their planet. Announce to the women of the world that there'll be a sex contest to see who wins the other ticket.