Your Chance to Join NIAFL Football: The Essay Contest

carrie has bigguns?

 

Right in the babymaker?

 

I heard that Carrie's period attracts bears.

Bubbler smells like Pube's dick.

I love lamp. I love carpet. I love NIAFL.

And I have God on my side.

 

I may have a new sig addition.

 

Very well done.

 

LOUD NOISES!!!

 

Jazz flute is for little fairy boys, Ricky.

 

Yesterday I was on a car trip with a Red Sox fan:  Male, 23.  He seemed to know baseball well, so I questioned him on how he gets his sports news.  He actually pays for ESPN Insider and pretty much memorizes Buster Olney's blog.  He says he just wants to see players play - doesn't care if they're good people or not and doesn't think the media has a handle on who's a good person anyway.  For example, he thinks Manny Ramirez is probably a great guy.  But Manny doesn't talk to the media, so we seek revenge by painting him as a jerkoff.

He doesn't care what Brett Myers (allegedly) did, and he thinks the steroid issue is getting too much play.  He sees and wants to see very little difference between real players and the digital figures on his XBox 360.  Entertain me is all, he says.

I am the opposite of this boy.  I see human beings on a field, and that's the way I draft my fantasy team.

I'm a monogamous player.  I dedicate myself to one league, and one league only, per season.

This little speech alone probably doesn't get me in, I realize that.

So knowing the league is predominantly male, I'd like to relate the following incident.

A couple of years ago, I found myself in a foreign country, dripping wet in a gym locker room.  The place had run out of towels.  All the women in there were soaked.  Only Gabrielle Reece had brought a towel from her hotel and was wearing nothing but that towel.  After she finished drying off a little, she tapped me on the shoulder and offered me her towel.

I took it.

 

Yet another reason why I should be the "member" included: The answer to you ladies' question is yes, I do have a nickname for my penis.

It's called the Rhombus.

 

If Carrie will promise to name her team the Pathetitards, i might have to switch allegiances.

Even if she does attract bears. We could use a bear or two around here.

 

Anchorman_jack!