Your Chance to Join NIAFL Football: The Essay Contest

UNDER_EDUCATED will submit his application momentarily. Unfortunately we'll have to reject it because no one speaks 'TARD.

 

But does he speak LeBa-TARD?

 

Hey, that line sounds familiar.

 

There is no reason to bring public displays of fellatio into the equation.

 

Hey, no making fun of current members. Only potential future members.

 

Thanks but we are just not that kind of league

 

You should let me in the NIAFL football league because I am far too distracted by my Steelers fanboy loserness to dominate the way I do in baseball leagues. And yes, I know loserness isn't a word. But dammit, I'm good enough to make up words for this site or even for the Plain Dealer!

The last group on this site to invite me into a fantasy league is currently looking up at me in the standings, so I can understand if the membership of the NIAFL would rather find easier pickings.

Besides, if you do choose somebody else, that will just give me more time to taunt everybody as my Steelers start working on rings for the other hand. Perhaps they should start with the thumb this time.  ;D

Oh, and if it matters, I have more lower case letters than leo.

 

I want to thank the media for coming out today. We've gone through a lot, y'all and me, and I'm glad I won't have you guys to beat me up on Tuesday mornings anymore.

It was a tough decision to retire from fantasy football, and what really made it particulary tough was all the great people in the NIAFL.

What it came down to was I just felt I could not devote the time required to stay competitive. The two a days get tougher and tougher every year. The late nights lying awake, wondering what roster moves Boom and 21 were going to make, finally took their toll.

It wasn't about the money.

It was about knowing when to quit.

I had some great seasons in the NIAIFL, and had some great players, though I can't recall any of their names at the moment.

I go into retirement, not sad . . . sniff, cough... excuse me for a moment.

Um... ugh, er ... I promised my wife I wasn't gonna do this... sniff...

I go into retirement, not sad... but, ... but happy about my future and the many great opportunities that lay ahead.

For those of you who have asked, I wanted to take this opportunity to let y'all know that I'm opening a Mooby's franchise in Tahoe.

Next time you stop by, the first Cow Tipper is on me.

Thank you, and I'll handle a few questions ....

 

and that ladies and gentlemen is the right way to retire


Space - who was your best pick ? who was your worst?

 

Also, you owe us $34 from the last Owner's Beach Bash for taking that girl's bikini top.  Boom had to write her a check so she would drop the charges.

We'll miss you, space....you are a true non-idiot.

 

True. Except for that time (just above this post) where he called it the NAIFL instead of the NIAFL.