Your Chance to Join NIAFL Football: The Essay Contest

See the Reggie Bush thread, Modaho. Or don't, actually. You won't like it.

 

Then perhaps the better question would be, would you have a problem playing in a league with a team called the 6-hr Scrotum Patches?

 

Boom,

My best pick was the one the computer made.

My worst pick . . . was the one the computer made.

 

Actually, it's a really entertaining thread.

Multiple jacks. The jacks got jacked.

Then we all had pie.

 

Duh. How could I like a thread started by Deep_Underground

 

No problem with that because it would keep me from advertising it to others. Call it the Handy-Dandy Scrotum-Shave league and I'd lose it, though.

 

I think we actually had wedding cake.  

OK, as far as this thread goes... I vote for IJAG even though my vote doesn't count.

 

Hate to say it, but my dad isn't welcome in the league.

He just spent 3 hours driving around the city trying to find my house. Did he stop and use a payphone to call? Nope.

had me, my wife, my mom and a couple of my brothers worried sick that he was in some accident. Nope, he was just lost and it was dark so he couldn't find my house. :

Tomorrow, he's getting something he's refused to get -- a cell phone with my number, his number and a few others preprogrammed.

 

Dear NIAFL,

I think it was Mark Twain that said, "I would not be a part of any club that would have me as one of its members."

There's a part of me that feels that way about the NIAFL. But there's a bigger part of me that thinks Twain was an unfunny, self-centered douche who deserved a right good bitch-slapping, which is what I believe I can deliver to the NIAFL, and why they should consider this a shot across the bow from me.

Frankly, I don't even know who's in this little Hong Kong triad you call a fantasy football league. 21? OK. BYH? Yeah. Dools? Does he have time? After that? I dunno, buncha of woodwork if you ask me. You say I'll be mixing it up with the big boys, the Masons if you will, of SportsJournalists.com. I'm hear to tell you, I'm Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in that one movie, the one with Bruce Lee, The Game? Dammit, I can't think of it!

I think my SportsJournalists.com track record is clear, you never know what to expect. Such is my football acumen. I'll make moves that demand respect and that will make your heads whirl around like Tim Krumrie's leg in Super Bowl XXVIII. Fuck Charlie Whitehurst, I might draft DAVID Whitehurst. Just because I can.

My motivation for joining is rooted in just two causes:

1. To beat 21 and make her eat saganaki in a side bet.
2. To profess my stance against SportsJournalists.com's recent obsession with ass-to-mouth. C'mon guys, I'm up for sexual experimentation as much as anyone, but ass-to-mouth does nothing for me. Sorry.

The threads will run red with the blood of the NIAFL. Or, I'll get my unholy ass kicked. But you'll never know if I'm not in.

Bubbler

 

Bubbler, you fucked yourself when you misspelled "woodwork."

 

"Pie ain't free." [/Alec Baldwin]

 

I was on a roll.