Your life list, non-sportswriting version

Forgot:
- Went to Mardi Gras 1999 in New Orleans (and have the pictures to prove it; and, wow, I didn't need that hurricane)
- Wilco on that Ash Wednesday at House of Blues (and after this year, I'll have seen them seven times, including Davenport and Little Rock)
- Rappelled down a cliff my freshman year in college (and when I hit terra firma, the skies opened up and it fucking POURED)
- turned down jobs in Fayettville, N.C.; Bradenton, Fla.; and Maui (bad timing on that last one)
- have lived in five states, from Kentucky (humid) to Washington (love the PNW) to California (desert)
- saw elk on the side of Highway 504 while returning home from Mount St. Helens (they're really big)
- went to the last big bid-day bash at Mizzou in 1990. High school kid climbed a light pole, and of course he's getting pelted with full beer cans and bottles. And fell into the power lines. POW! Every street light went out. Ten minutes later, the cops and firemen were being hit with cans and bottles as they tried to get to the kid. A bad scene. We took our cooler and went home.
- Saw Hole on the "Live Through This" tour a few months after Cobain's death and spent the whole concert in the pit; made it as close as five deep from the stage. Completely soaked through with sweat when it ended.
- Saw a hawk sitting on my back fence eviscerate a bird. Took it at least 15 minutes. All that was left was a feather and a small piece of entrail. Nature in all its glory. Too cool.
- Tried to help break a horse. Ate gravel.
- Drove 467 miles one way to eat Dairy Queen with some jackass.

 

This is THE best thread I've ever read on here.

Straight out of the Gannett playbook: Everybody has a story.

Here's a few of mine:

- Stood in line to perform CPR on a dead woman
- Spent one of the best weekends of my life (Martin Luther King weekend) in Myrtle Beach, in a shitty hotel room, living on kegs of Red Dog and .99 cent Big Macs. After watching the Steelers fall to the Chargers in the AFC championship game :'( I went swimming in the ocean in 30-degree weather with my best friends.
- Sat in the woods (hunting) in a raging snowstorm on top of a mountain, waiting for the sun to come up.
- Been a whitewater raft guide which provided an adrenaline rush and a flood of memories and adventures I would never trade.
- President and founder of the high school chess club and captain of the High Q team. And still couldn't get the girls!
Thank God I discovered contacts, hair gel and alcohol!- Hit on the head cheerleader my first night as a college a freshman (Got nowhere other than the dance floor). She told me I was sweet, which gave me a lot of confidence. Also fortunate her T-Rex boyfriend didn't crush me. I weighed about 150 pounds as a college freshman.
- Never had my ass kicked. Only been in about three fights in my life none since (seriously) since I was a freshman in high school.
- Elected student body president of my college.
- Met the Gov. of West Virginia at a Dairy Queen.
- Hit 218 home runs in a whiffle ball season. (Greatest whiffle ball player the state of West "By God" has ever produced!).
- Scored a career-high 12 points in high school basketball game.
- Led the college intramural league in scoring in flag football - twice.
- Drank a case of beer and half-fifth of whiskey in an evening. Unfortunately, I went to bed, passed out and missed the opportunity to shag a freshman who came back up to my room and couldn't wake me.
- Told my dad I loved him.
- Sat in a hot tub during a snowstorm drinking beer and feeling like the King of the World.
- Drove to Man, W.Va for a blowjob.
- Outside of alcohol, never experimented with drugs (quite frankly, I'm afraid I would enjoy it too much).
- Been to a drive-in movie.
- Rebuilt the engine on a 1984 Nissan Truck.
- I laugh EVERY day.
- Was surrounded by my closest friends, including my wife, the day I got married. Got thrown in the pool (in my tux) at the reception.
- Rode in an airplane with a pilot who was legally deaf and blind. The ride cost me $5.
- Sing the itsy-bitsy spider to my oldest son every night.
- Visited New York twice and LOVED every minute of it!
- Got a St. Paddy's Day kiss from a complete stranger (hot too) on the Long Island RR and never saw her again. I'll never forget her either.
- Saw two guys get the shit beat of them for trying to swindle a poker machine with a rigged $20.
- Had a boat I was towing in my dad's truck, break loose and pass me on a major interstate.
- Stayed at The Greenbrier and, along with six other guys, ran up a $1,500 bar bill in one night.
- Saw an Osprey catch a fish.
- Went snorkeling off the Cayman Islands.
- Saw an Bald Eagle.

 

- Once got a $50 tip delivering three pizzas when the drunk guy who opened the door realized he couldn't read the numbers on the bills. "Heeeere, yooooou keep theeese." It was four twenties. Stayed up all night celebrating: four-twenty.
- Broke down one night 8 miles outside Gulfport, Miss., with every possession to my name in the back of a Ryder rental truck. Exactly eight hours into a 16-hour move back home, driving solo; eight hours in either direction from anybody I knew, and one week after my 21st birthday. A tow-truck driver named Radar, from Pascagoula, took me to a hotel and slept in his cab in the parking lot to wake me up at 6 a.m. so he could fix my truck right away and send me back on the road. I bought him breakfast.
- Spent that 21st birthday drunk at Dealey Plaza and hung over at the Murrah memorial in OKC. Almost got arrested twice.
- Blinded a Little League teammate for 10 minutes when I threw a fastball that nailed him between the eyes. He was catching me, in the bullpen, and wasn't wearing a mask. He screamed louder than anyone I've ever heard. We were 11.
- Once drove 6 hours overnight, up two mountains, to get laid. She was worth it.

 

This one reminds me of the time I was a dish washer at a breakfast joint attached to a hotel when I was 13 or 14. We did coffee and pastries for room service and I was sent upstairs to deliver both to a room. I knock and there's no answer. Knock again, I hear "Hold on." After a minute or two the door finally opens and a gorgeous brunette barely covered in a flimsy silk robe answers the door. I think it was her honeymoon.

Anyway, I give her the food and she says, 'Hold on, I'll grab some money for a tip.' She goes to her pocketbook, which is on the floor, bends over and rustles around, giving me quite an eyeful. She turns around to hand me the money and the robe opens up, giving me quite another eyeful.

I thank her for the $2, but it wasn't the tip I was bragging about when I went back downstairs.

If I'd been invited in, I would've started this story with, "Dear Penthouse, I never thought I'd be writing this but ..."

 

We all should kill ourselves for having no chance to measure up to that full life.

 

Okay, I'll play along ...

Watched President Kennedy's casket go by between the Capital and St. Matthews Cathedral on Nov. 25, 1963. I was 7 and sitting on Dad's shoulders.

Was in the Eagle Scout honor guard for the 1972 Presidential Inaguration.

Won two intercollegiate tennis matches (okay, it was in a JUCO conference).

Interviewed the second man to walk on the moon (Edwin Aldrin), who was a little on the, shall we say, spacy side.

32 states for me. Knocked off Arizona recently. Will add Minnesota next year.

Was told by Arnold Palmer once: "That was the first good question in this press conference."

Married the last good girl left.

 

Age 1 day: Saw ash from Mt. St. Helens eruption
Age 3: Broke my nose
Age 5: Nearly died in giant snowdrift outside of my house in the Cascades
Age 14: Traveled to Romania and saw the entire country in a 2 week span
Age 14: Stood in my front yard and watched my house burn down
Age 15: Saw Don Mattingly play in the playoffs for the only time in his career and saw him hit a home run
Age 18: Got drunk for the first time and puked all night
Age 19: Had sex and smoked weed for the first time (same night)
Age 20: Stood outside and watched my dorm burn down
Age 21: Went to the top floor of the World Trade Center towers and saw Yankee Stadium for the one and only time
Age 22: Graduated from college and got first newspaper job
Age 23: Got married
Age 25: Moved 2,000 miles away from the Northwest for second newspaper job
Age 26: Got divorced
Age 27: Hoping for a whole lot more out of life

Been to 27 states (missing the entire south except for Georgia and Texas) and D.C. and had sex in eight of them. Been to Canada, Mexico, Germany, Austria (though they wouldn't let us off the plane and there were dudes with machine guns guarding it) and Romania.

 

A little late coming to this one, but what the hell…

Childhood: Endured my parents’ stormy marriage, got lots of love from my mom’s parents. Grandaddy remains my role model, at least when I slow down enough to think about things like that.

Adolescence: Was Punk Rock. And a big dork.

College: Escaped suburban Dallas-Fort Worth to rub shoulders with the prep-school crowd at a metro-Boston-area university. Learned from lots of really smart professors. Spent junior year in London, saw the Pogues at the Town and Country Club on St. Patrick’s. Saw Ireland. Got drunk on Abbott Ale, hit a Camden Town sidewalk very hard with my face, lost a tooth. Graduated with honors, first person from either side of the family to finish college.

Early twenties: Dropped out of grad school to become full-time political activist against the Gulf War. Lived with anarchists, ate lots of vegan food, read about Paris in 1968 and Barcelona in 1937, drank forties, smoked weed, dated chicks with swishy skirts and hairy armpits. Experienced riots. Had shitty jobs.

Late twenties: Sadly, kind of a down period. Lived with a woman for four years even though I was miserable for the last three. Finally started having professional jobs at this time, so lots of hard work and not much fun except for occasional forays into the mountains of New Mexico.

Early thirties: Learned a lot in massage therapy school. Worked as a massage therapist at a Caribbean resort where French women would walk in right off the beach, take off their bikini tops and lie down on my table. Came back to the USA, got a job in the most fabulous, hidden corner of the Southwest. Lived in a town of 5,000, then a town of 2,000. Saw the stars every night. Raised hell with a “Cannery Row”-type cast of characters.

Mid thirties: Gradually switched from massage to journalism as my primary occupation. Finally put some effort into writing. Got really into bicycling. Traveled to Spain and Morocco. Got laid off when the paper went bust, went down to Mexico and taught English. Came back, worked for some nickel-and-dime sports sections in some nickel-and-dime towns. Finally landed my current gig, which I love.

Lots of fun, not a whole lot in the way of accomplishments.

Biggest regret is not making a priority of finding a wife when I was in my twenties. My parents made marriage seem so hellish, I didn’t even consider marriage as an option for me until I was 30. By then, most of the good ones were taken.

 

Fun thread.

* Been to 21 states plus DC.

* Found love of my life.

* Got two healthy parents and a grandmother who's 91 and still going strong.

* Met Ryne Sandberg, my athletic hero, at a game I wasn't working.

* Attended a Cubs playoff game vs. Atlanta in 2003. They lost, dammit...

* MLB ballparks: Wrigley, Fenway, Great American, Camden, Turner Field.

* Football stadiums (most of these for work): Notre Dame, Bama, the Swamp, Cowboy Stadium, Heinz Field, BYU, Neyland, Georgia, Virginia Tech, Virginia

* Got to see Ripken play in person before he retired.

* Saw Michael Jordan play in person.

* Got to boo Steve Garvey (that bastard) at Wrigley in 1985--then watch Lee Smith strike him out to end a game.

* Best man in 2 weddings.

* Won $600 in a a Tunica poker tournament.

* Hanged myself accidentally while playing baseball in a yard as a kid. There was a clothesline, one of the poles was third base and we forgot to take the line down before playing. My head went right through a loop in the line and the momentum sent me flying around the pole a few times. I remember all of it, actually.

* Threw up in a church once.

* Learned how to make a world-class White Russian--the trick is making it double size with half milk or cream so it tastes less boozey.

* Top floor of Empire State Building. Didn't drop a penny over the side.

* Took a civil rights history class taught by Julian Bond.

* Had Dustin Rhodes and Bobby Eaton over to the house.

* Amassed a collection of 80-some episodes of MST3K.

* Met Doc and spup.

I have a list of things I want to do before I die. There's a whole lot left on there.

 

Sirs, Madames,

--got Jean Beliveau to phone up my dying father in law
--told my teenage daughter that a guy wanted to beat me up and Tie Domi played along
--watched John Huston filming something down the street from school
--got a glimpse of Brando two blocks from my house during shooting of The Freshman
--bought a beer for James Burton and talked about playing for Elvis, Gram Parsons and JL Lewis
--never scored 20 something in a a summer-league game but scored 30 once
--scored two points in an OT win in summer league -- tying point and winning point
--drew four, five and four offensive fouls in consecutive summer-league games
--wore John Ferguson Sr's sweats in Norway when my luggage got lost (wore shorts over and it was snowing in Olso when I arrived)
--Red Fisher said "See ya in the fall" my first year in the biz
--stood on a corner in Winslow, Arizona

YHS, etc

 

Mr. Friend,

Awesome stuff. Truly awesome. Got Bobby Orr to say hello to a boyfriend but Jean Beliveau? I bow to your greatness.