You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine - UPDATED !!!

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Well, like I said, take one more shot at her. OK, two more.

But you know the ultimate answer: She gets to go where she wants to go. How could you possibly force otherwise?

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine


jemima - got it - I wrote back.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

If "Michigan" is really Michigan and "State" is really Michigan State, I wouldn't sweat it too much.

But if we're talking Alabama vs. Alabama State or Georgia vs. Georgia State, ugh.

If it's Florida vs. Florida State, though, she can make up that 20 percent gap easy by being a second generation cowgirl.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Luggie: I'd say the financial aid aspect makes a difference, but still not enough.

I was offered a full ride to three small schools, based solely on my ACT scores. They never saw my transcript (it was during a college fair) and never asked any questions. I never applied for grants or scholarships (too much work). Yet, I chose to go to U of Kentucky because I wanted to go to a "big school." Now I'm $16K in debt and hated my school.

So while the numbers may all make sense, it doesn't mean it will sway her. Feel free to lay it all out in front of her, but the joy of not having student loans 6 years from now doesn't cancel out the immediacy of feeling that she'll be alone if she doesn't go to State with her friend, which is all she knows right now.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

I spent my freshman year at one of the nation's most selective colleges. It is even more selective now than it was then, now I think it accepts 10 percent of those who apply. I applied early decision, got a nice financial-aid package, was all set by mid-January.

But I hated it. I think I changed during my senior year in high school while working 24 hours a week at a local daily. I knew what I wanted to do with my life and college just seemed like a four-year postponement of it. When I got to Elite College I was frustrated by how removed it seemed from the real world. Professors bragged about how we weren't a "trade school," that it was learning for the sake of learning, which sounds good unless you are gearing yourself toward an occupation in which lack of a sense of the real world would be a handicap.

So I transferred to a middling state university in the South, which was about as real-world as you could get, being right in the middle of a decent-size city. Then on winter break I started stringing again for my hometown local daily and basically said, screw college. I had a girlfriend at home, and a few months later I had a full-time job in journalism.

No matter how unpleasant, I usually consider nothing to have been a waste of time because I learned from it. The year at Elite College was a waste of time, though. It was just a bad choice. What looks good on paper is not always right for everyone.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Totally agree with Ace here. College is what you make of it. Period. You don't have to go to a J-school to be a journalist, and you certainly don't have to go to a top-tier school to be a damn fine citizen and overall well-rounded person. It's the people that your neice surrounds herself around who will help mold her.

Sidenote, Lugs: Maybe she doesn't realize the big deal between 100% and 80% financing because, like you said, she's had to be the one to worry about finances throughout her young life. And she made it thus far successfully, so maybe in her mind, what's the big deal about 20% difference?! She likely figures it'll all work out in the end, much like it has during the past four years.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Wait, she's graduating near the top of her class at a large school with a heartwrenching backstory and juggling jobs on top of that, and "Michigan State" not only doesn't offer a scholarship, it can't even pony up the full financial aid? From this, it sounds like they not only should be throwing her a full ride, they should be proverbially (if not literally) kissing her feet in a vain attempt to get her to not go to Michigan.

Has she been to both schools yet? I'm guessing she has, but when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u and mption. Does she have tangiable reasons to pick State other than as her personal rage against the maize and blue machine?

I'd approach it logically. Ask her to list the yay and nay for both schools. Provoke her mind, not her emtions. Make her think about it. But ultimately, trust her. She sounds like she's got a good head on her shoulders. It's not like she's stiff-arming Harvard and Princeton to go to one of the two schools that accepted me.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

I suspect it's South Dakota and South Dakota State, but I can't prove it.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Send her to BYU. She can get married at 19, start having babies and live a dull and frumpy life.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Was it really that hard to decide between Hamburger University and IT Technical Institute?

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Hey, it was DeVry and Phoenix, get the facts straight.

 

Re: You've Solved 21's Problem - Now I Could Use Your Help with Mine

Youngest Editude had a similar choice of the big state school 400 miles away and the sister state school 50 miles away (with many friends). We preferred the bigger one, but the choice ultimately was hers. She picked the big one, so we got our way ( ) and she got to make her own decision. Ten years out, the school name won't matter nearly as much as the pleasant memories anyway.