Zarqawi's final words ?

"I just saved 15 percent on my car insurance"

 

Now I can GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT!

 

"You were right about me, Luke. Tell your sister...you were right."

 

"Every day, I come in here and talk about defense. Defense, defense, defense. And we go out and kill 50 and the Americans kill 53. And I come back and preach about more defense. And we go out and only get 48 killed and we only kill 46. There's not that much mother fuckin' defense in the mother fuckin' world. We can't shoot. And that's all there is to it. A blind man ain't got no business at a circus and that's what I've got. Three blind mice. Hell, 5,000 blind mice. 6,000, how many insurgents I got? I won't sit here dying and tell you a lot of stories, but I'll tell you one. Back a few months ago, I had two insurgents with Ahmad and al Baraq. We get into the fight and we're pinned down and we really need a good shot. I draw up a plan. We go out and the Americans cover Ahmad and al Baraq and there's al Rivaras all by himself. He shoots three times and doesn't even hit the bunker. So, I call 'em back over there and I tell Ahmad not to let al Rivaras shoot no damn more. I say, 'I'd rather have you take a bad shot or al Baraq take a bad shot than let al Rivaras shoot.' They go back to their spots and so help me God, Ahmad is crying. And there's al Rivaras standing all by himself with that shit eating grin on his face. Before he can shoot, I order 'em back over. And al Rivaras is trying to get in on the conversation and I'm standing like this blocking him out. When we're finished, al Rivaras is saying 'Gen-uh-rail, Gen-uh-rail, Gen-uh-rail.' I said, 'Sit down. Don't help me no motherfuckin' more.'

"All the time, I got farmers coming up to me telling me about their kids and how he can avoid land mines and bullets or whatever. If he can't shoot, I don't need him. Send him to my enemy.

"OK, that's it guys. I'm dying here. Watch your steps on the way out. This place is a fuckin' mess. You should have seen it before it was bombed. The bathroom was terrible. There's shit on the floor that's been there, man. It's a disgrace. This safehouse is in our network. They've got damn money, they should've cleaned this place up. Had a guy guarding the back door. What's he guarding back there? They ought to throw this cell out of the fuckin' network. Take the money and run, that's a sin, man. That's it. And leave the cuss words when you're writing up your reports."


(I lost the original rant so I was working from memory here. Forgive me if I got some shit screwed up.)

 

It's a trick. Get an axe.

 

Hello, Clarice.

 

"Rock, sometime when the team is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they've got and win just one for the Zarqawi-ipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock, but I'll know about it and I'll be happy."

 

My God, it's full of stars.

 

"you guys hear somethi....."

 

"Hibhib shit still in Hibhib"

 

Derka Derka, Muhammad Jihad!

 

'Now I'll miss Stern tomorrow, just when he has a stripper AND a porn star scheduled. Damn you, U.S.!'