A place for open letters to the good people of the world.

[waterytart]

Dear Liesl,

How could you be anything but thrilled for her? That's great.

w'tart

 

[3OctaveFart]

Dear Board,

Seduce me.

-3OctaveFart

 

[Versatile]

Dear 3OctaveFart,

Sincerely,

Verse

 

[dixiehack]

Dear dixiehack:

Get your shirt together already.

Cordially
dixiehack

 

[HC]

Dear Good Friday

Thank you for the opportunity to sing "Erbarme Dich" with one of the most amazing violinists I have worked with. Serious food for this musicians soul.

With gratitude and humility,

HC

 

[Versatile]

Dear you guys,

I had been wondering why there haven't been SportsJournalists.com awards in a while recently. Then I read this:

As one who has been in this guy's proverbial shoes (sigh), I can tell you exactly how it probably all went down. At least from his point of view.

A few months back, on a thread about "how to pick up a woman in a bar", I wrote the following:

Always tell a smart girl that she's pretty and a pretty girl that she's smart.

Jessica Dorrell is one of those women who, all her life, has probably had teenage boys and men stuttering and bumbling when striking up conversation with her and always commenting on her beauty.

Bobby Petrino is many things but he is not an idiot -- at least not when it comes to getting what he wants. When he is trying to lock down a recruit, he probably needs a different "sell" item than the other 100 schools.

When he met Dorrell, he probably told her that she's intelligent and bright and not just "dang, yew must be them thar purdiest girl in all o' Arkansaw..."

He probably charmed her through pleasantries about how smart she is. Then Dorrell goes home and thinks about this, especially when she looks at her fiance. He's a young guy and working his way up the chain but, here is, Bobby F'n Petrino saying that she's intelligent.

And she finds herself smitten.

After a few weeks, he probably says, "I think you're really smart and should have this newly-created position within the football department." THIS is ultimate hubris... even *I* recognize this.

Petrino is probably a guy who can make amazing eye contact when trying to sign a speedster. A woman can be no different. Just as men love beauty and a certain physique, women are attracted to confidence and power (NOT necessarily money -- but, given Petrino's average physical characteristics, the money probably helped in this case).

How it happens:
They're both feeling empty. Perhaps Petrino's home life is one where his wife doesn't acknowledge his daily victories (a major signee, an endorsement deal, etc). She probably got tired of him after his first big check at Louisville.

Perhaps Dorrell is stuck with the "do I marry this swimming coach or not" dilemma as wedding day approaches? I imagine both were adrift at the exact same time and it happened. Quickly.

I know. I've been there.

I was once at a Barnes & Noble, buying something in the kids department for a neighbor's birthday party and in walked this woman - same age as me - who was stunning. Every man in the bookstore was looking at her. I had no business even catching her radar. Eyes locked. I was confident, bold and funny. I commented on her intelligence. Lots. We both talked about our unhappy home lives.

Ten days later, it's a full-blown affair. That's how quickly it can happen. Probably would have been the next day if she wasn't in "women's ministry" at her church.

The next day, I get a note: "what made you so different is that you don't just see beauty. You see that I am a thoughtful and intelligent person". That's how it happens.

Back to the Petrino/Dorrell Mess:
- I am shocked if he did all of the communication via a state-issued/university-issued phone. That's unbelievably stupid (just as the actual actions were). Also an amateur move. Use "tossaway email accounts" to communicate. Use Google Voice for texting (untraceable).

- This meeting 20 miles from Fayetteville is the most plausible element of an affair. They meet in an out-of-the-way place where they can spend time and, they hoped, not run into anyone they know. For Petrino, this is a special challenge and may explain why he wasn't wearing a helmet. (He couldn't leave the house with TWO helmets missing -- the wife might notice this). It would probably still be going on if he hadn't wrecked the bike.

Yet the lie - not to his family - but to the school and media -- will do him in. What he needed to do, to save his hide, was apologize to Dorrell right then and there and remind her that she would have to catch her own way back to her car (or to town). Whatever money he had on him he should have given to her.

Petrino had many, MANY "outs" in this situation and screwed it up from the moment the bike was wrecked.

Post of the year. And enough reason for me to go through the trouble of doing year-end awards again in FreelanceHack's stead, if the board would like.

Sincerely,

Versatile

 

[KYSportsWriter]

Dear Verse,
That is pretty damn good.

KY

 

[dooley_womack1]

Dear Versatile,

I still like yours better.

Just sayin'
Dools

 

[Versatile]

Dear MisterCreosote,

I guess I'd have to strike "Biggest post-padder" from the list. ;D

Sincerely,

Versatile

 

[dooley_womack1]

Dear Mssrs. Versatile and Creosote,

I'm tracking y'all down on Google Earth.

Just sayin'
Dools

 

[Versatile]

Dear you guys,

If I did this, since we haven't done it in so long, would anyone be in favor of having it midyear? Perhaps I could take nominations in through May for the best from June 2011-present, then in June we could vote on each award?

Or we could make it more simple and traditional and wait until the end of the year, which probably makes for a more tidy method.

Sincerely, now with 3,000 posts,

Versatile

 

[wicked]

dooley,

You crushed that out of the park. I'll go back to looking for a cornfield.

wick