Awkward dates

[cyclingwriter]

This came up in conversation last night and thought it might make a good topic for this crew.

Awkward dates.

The story we got last night was from one of our interns, who met a guy a few weeks back during a road race. They talked. He asked her out. She said yes. She asked if he wanted to see a movie. He claims he has never been in a movie theater. She was surprised, but decided to go with him anyway. Met him at a move theater and according to her, he was either an amazing method actor or completely telling the truth, because he seemed amazingly blown away by being at the movies.

Anyway, we started riffing on what we would have done...like what other basic things he never did like use indoor plumbing, etc...

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

In high school I got up the nerve to call a girl I went to church with who went to another school.
She said no, she was seeing someone.
A few weeks later she came up to me after church and said she was available and would like to go out. (I found later, she told me) her boyfriend, drunk, drowned in the river and she was single.
She lived waaaay out in the sticks -- 40-minute one way trip to pick her up. and then an hour-plus ride to the movies. In the car she sang to the radio the whole way there.
On the ride home she wanted to have a deep philosophical discussion - "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" ...
It was horrible. Just horrible.
We had nothing in common except she was very pretty with a cute little ass and I was very fond of pretty girls and cute little asses.

 

[Dick Whitman]

On the ride home she wanted to have a deep philosophical discussion - "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" ...
It was horrible. Just horrible.

You didn't like that? You seem like a thoughtful enough guy.

Of course, high school E ... OR is not 2013 E ... OR.

 

[three_bags_full]

Had a girl start blowing in her drink like a five-year old once.

 

[Captain Obvious]

In high school I got up the nerve to call a girl I went to church with who went to another school.
She said no, she was seeing someone.
A few weeks later she came up to me after church and said she was available and would like to go out. (I found later, she told me) her boyfriend, drunk, drowned in the river and she was single.
She lived waaaay out in the sticks -- 40-minute one way trip to pick her up. and then an hour-plus ride to the movies. In the car she sang to the radio the whole way there.
On the ride home she wanted to have a deep philosophical discussion - "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" ...
It was horrible. Just horrible.
We had nothing in common except she was very pretty with a cute little ass and I was very fond of pretty girls and cute little asses.

Perv.

 

[qtlaw]

I was 25 in law school and went to lunch (dim sum) one day with my mom and her friend. Friend brought her daughter who was fairly attractive and seemed fun.

So seemed like a good idea and I ask her to go out. We go out to dinner, see a movie, then um..... no dance club, no drinks, she's only 19. Damn, in one of the most fun cities for singles (SF) and there's only one other thing to do at 11, and I did not want to go to my apartment on the first date. So brought her home (lived with parents in the city) and made it back in time for SNL (which to this day marks an awful date, getting home on Sat. night for start of SNL.)

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

On the ride home she wanted to have a deep philosophical discussion - "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" ...
It was horrible. Just horrible.

You didn't like that? You seem like a thoughtful enough guy.

Of course, high school E ... OR is not 2013 E ... OR.

She was waaaay more mature than I at that age. I like to think I am smart. This girl was SMART. Not as smart as her a sister - a lesbian who went to Swarthmore - but very intelligent.
I was not thinking about philosophy on that date.
The whole thing was disjointed ...


Then there was the time I pretended to know how to play piano on a date with a girl who was in the band.
We got back to her house and there's piano in the living room.
I didn't get a second date ...

 

[Sea Bass]

One time, a girl agreed to have her neighbor named boots over for dinner.

 

[Ace]

One time I went out with this eager girl. We went parking after work and let's say that I got to third base and stayed there long enough so that she was satisfied.

But then I figured it was her turn to reciprocate, and she wouldn't grab the bat or anything.

So from that day on I made sure that no girl I went out with reached a climax. Pretty successful at it, too.

 

[Uncle Frosty]

Single mom in a doublewide.

Hey, that should be a country song title.

 

[Jake_Taylor]

One night in college I hooked up with a comely young lady I met at the bar who was somehow even more drunk than I was. We had our fun and for reasons I don't remember she decided not to stay the night and I didn't get her name or number.

Fast forward a couple of months and I'm working on a project in some computer lab on campus and she came in with a friend and sat down on the other side of the room. I noticed them looking my way and whispering a few times, so when I finished up I went over and said hi, we chatted a while, I said "My name is Jake_Taylor, by the way," and she laughed. We made a date for the next night.

So we go see Jeepers Creepers, get some ice cream and go back to my house for a beer or two. We wind up back in my room, both of our shirts are off and as I'm working on freeing the puppies I say, "you know, I think I still have your bra you left here last time."

"What do you mean last time?"

So we had an awkward, embarrassing conversation in which I tell her she'd been here before and we'd done this before, but she didn't remember at all. She didn't spend the night the second time either and went home with both her bras.

 

[three_bags_full]

I don't think I've ever heard of someone cockblocking themselves.

Well done, Jake. Well done.