Offbeat prep feature

[Riddick]

that's a damn good read, JME

 

[hate-d-mah-old-prepjob]

Sorry I'm so late on this, but good stuff Jeff (since we kind of know each other). I found myself kind of singing the Peanut Butter song to myself, so the lede did it's job - it drew me in. Again, good stuff man...but it's not like I ever expected anything less from you.

 

[JME]

Never too late for a compliment ;D

Thanks man, the feeling is most definitely mututal.

 

[hackhack]

I liked , no loved the topic. Well reported.

2cents:

At first I didn't get the story because of the hat.

Then I reread it, and I didn't get the hat at all.

So a guy has a curly head with a hat askew .... and because he chatters a lot .... it's amazing the hat doesn't fall off?

That is a lot of visualization about a piece of clothing to get into a story about what comes out of someone's mouth.

Did you consider any other intro?

 

[JME]

Hmm, let's see.

Honestly, the hat was not directly related to the chatter; It was just a way to lead into the story, by painting a picture of this funny kid who doesn't play much but leads the chatter orchestra. I agree, it is a lot of visualization, but I generally don't make it a rule for my lede to point directly to the subject -- especially in a kind of frivolous feature story. If it's more of a serious story, I'll be more rigid.

It's been a while, so I really can't recall what other ledes I considered.