The Photo

[Slacker]

So I was working in the doctor's office and he sends around a guy for a foot x-ray. He's in his early twenties, typical neighborhood redneck. He's got a through and through puncture wound in his foot, in the top and out the bottom, and the doc is trying to be sure that there is no visible foreign matter inside.

"So how'd you do that to your foot?" Neutral voice, neutral face. I wanted to know how the heck he managed this. I'd seen all sorts of funky wounds, but this was a new one.

I get something of a defensive look, but he decides I'm ok.

"You know how a lot of AK-47's have that folding spike bayonet?"

I nod. "Yup, seen those. SKS's have them too."

"Yeah. So me and some of my friends were down by the creek, shooting at cans and stuff, just kinda screwing around. My buddy called me over to help him with something, and there wasn't a tree to lean my rifle against, just sand, so I folded out the bayonet and went to just stick it in the ground and leave it there, and I , uh, I stuck it through my foot on accident."

My professionalism really kicked in. Poker face, belly muscles locked tight. I didn't laugh, although I know my mouth had to twitch. Still, I held it together pretty well, considering. I gave him neutral face and asked "Was there any alcohol involved?"

He gave something between a flinch and a twitch really quickly and looked up at me and after a long pause said, "We might have had a couple of beers." I imagine the Highway Patrol hears the same phrase in roughly the same tone.

I nod, holding it together still. I have a mental picture of this kid after a few beers and hitting a couple of joints screwing up and spiking his foot to the ground by accident, then yelling bloody murder as he dances in a circle. None of his buddies can immediately help him pull it out because they've all fallen down laughing at his dumb ass. I can just see it.

I park him back in a waiting room and take the films around to the doc. Our eyes meet and we both crack up.

It was perfect.

That guy needs to be deposed and made to tell the entire story for our entertainment.

 

[Neutral Corner]

You would not *believe* the stupid ways people find to hurt themselves.

 

[Neutral Corner]

X-rayed a guy who had fallen through the ceiling. He was at his Mom's, lighting the pilot light on her furnace, which was in the attic. He lost his balance and fell between the ceiling joists, through the sheet rock. He was over her bathroom, and he fell through onto the top edge of the door, which was opened a bit into the bathroom. The edge of the door catches him across the ribs, breaks a couple. He then falls from the top of the door onto the edge of the vanity, and from there to the tile floor.

Ambulance to the hospital, but I'm left with this mental picture of him falling through onto the door, the vanity, then the floor, like something that would happen to Wile E Coyote.

 

[OscarMadison]

Welcome back, @maumann!

Note to self...Look into getting your bows restrung, your arrows fletched, knocked, and pointed, and your aim straight.

MAGATs are some scary folk. If they come for my grain mill, they will be ventilated.

 

[Splendid Splinter]

 

[SixToe]

Welcome back, @maumann!

Note to self...Look into getting your bows restrung, your arrows fletched, knocked, and pointed, and your aim straight.

MAGATs are some scary folk. If they come for my grain mill, they will be ventilated.

Fixed or expandable?

 

[Bamadog]

They would have been better off going out there with a couple jugs of lemonade.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

You break through my gate at my house, you get one verbal warning. Then the shooting starts. If anything, these two showed restraint. They were well within their rights under the law to shoot these trespassers who meant them harm. Someone is going to have to make a stand against this insurrection of morons thinking that rioting is going to lead to some revolution.

 

[Neutral Corner]

Even Alabama frowns on up and shooting people for walking down the street in front of your house.

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

You break through my gate at my house, you get one verbal warning. Then the shooting starts. If anything, these two showed restraint. They were well within their rights under the law to shoot these trespassers who meant them harm. Someone is going to have to make a stand against this insurrection of morons thinking that rioting is going to lead to some revolution.

Even these people weren't stupid enough to do that.

 

[tapintoamerica]

You break through my gate at my house, you get one verbal warning. Then the shooting starts. If anything, these two showed restraint. They were well within their rights under the law to shoot these trespassers who meant them harm. Someone is going to have to make a stand against this insurrection of morons thinking that rioting is going to lead to some revolution.

I haven't seen the video. Did these people break through the gate of the subdivision or a gate specific to the gun-toters' house? Did they set foot on the gun-toters' property?

Would you brandish your weapons and give them a brief opportunity to see them and retreat? Or would you graduate immediately to pulling the trigger?

 

[Old Crank]

You break through my gate at my house, you get one verbal warning. Then the shooting starts. If anything, these two showed restraint. They were well within their rights under the law to shoot these trespassers who meant them harm. Someone is going to have to make a stand against this insurrection of morons thinking that rioting is going to lead to some revolution.

Well, Cletus, it's good to know how far you'll go to protect your stash of Bud Light at the double-wide from them marauding coloured people.

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

Probably jail for this guy. Wonder if he warned once before shooting her in the back?

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