Dear dimwit on the phone

[flexmaster33]

If it's anything like my shop the press crew has been getting more and more heat in recent years concerning overtime hours and such, so maybe it's just as simple as that.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

We had just finished about 20 minutes before the game ended. No way we could've gotten it in with an 11:45 deadline.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Dear ex-felon,

I can think of nothing better than to go through our archives searching for an incident nine years ago where you got shot with a bean bag. And don't worry, the fact that you can't remember which month this incident occurred in is no problem. I'll be happy to pour through 12 books (or a stack of CDs which are unreliable) looking for this thing where you got shot by a non-leathal device. I'm not short staffed and over worked, so I have all the time to look for this.

You should ask him, "Are ex-felons not allowed in the library?"

I used to have that issue crop up a couple of times when I worked at the small-town afternoon daily (the research part, not the ex-felons part).

I worked a split shift, early mornings, and then I'd cover a game and do some office work late in the afternoon, early evening. A couple of times, someone would want to do some research on our microfilm and ask my boss if I could help them.
And I'd tell them to come in around 6 p.m. or so.

"But I'm available at 11 in the morning."

"Sorry, but that's my time off. I put the section out in the morning and I have a big basketball game to cover tonight."

"Well that means you're available at 11."

"Um, no, that's my time to do personal things."

"If you can't be available at that time, then I guess I'll have to talk to your boss."

"Very well, I'll transfer you."

Mumbling occurs. I transfer him. Boss talks to him for a bit, says goodbye, hangs up, and comes over to me.

"Can't you help him at 11?"

"Not unless you want to pay me overtime. As is, I'm willing to come down here a little early and I'll miss part of the game. I have other things to do than to supervise someone at the microfilm. That's what libraries are for."

Boss walks away grumbling. Guy calls back the next day to come in at 6. Of course, he didn't know when the event occurred ("sometime in the 70s, or maybe it was the 60s"). Our archives were such a mess anyways, I let him look at one reel, then told him I had a game to cover. And suggested the public library.

 

[MonsterLobster]

Today's e-mail: Guy wondering why we have so many "goof's" in the paper, especially on the "photo's." Who "editt's" these?

All of these emails are either from this guy or from the retired high school English teacher who has (self-)published several (terrible romance) novels.

 

[Gator]

To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Title IX, we got an email a little while back when we didn't cover a softball game. "Don't like covering softball, do you? I guess you've never heard of Title IX, huh?"

I didn't have the heart or the patience to actually explain what it was, or what it actually meant.

 

[schiezainc]

Are you kidding? I would have replied with a 3,000-word history on Title IX and why it doesn't apply here.

 

[HejiraHenry]

To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Title IX, we got an email a little while back when we didn't cover a softball game. "Don't like covering softball, do you? I guess you've never heard of Title IX, huh?"

I didn't have the heart or the patience to actually explain what it was, or what it actually meant.

"Yes, I'm aware of Title IX. It, and not public interest, is what's propping up softball."

 

[HanSenSE]

To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Title IX, we got an email a little while back when we didn't cover a softball game. "Don't like covering softball, do you? I guess you've never heard of Title IX, huh?"

I didn't have the heart or the patience to actually explain what it was, or what it actually meant.

Paired in the wagering with the guy who called and asked if we were going to cover his soccer team getting a proclamation from city council."

"No."

"Well, World Cup is coming up."

That's nice, I think ... take your own darn picture and submit it like everyone else.

 

[flexmaster33]

I love the two-week old news that the City Council celebrates...oh, and the two-week old press releases that the local junior college sends out. Both grumble that they never get covered when in reality all you have to do is open our paper from two weeks ago and guess what? It's there. At newspapers, we tend to cover events when they happen...I know, we're funny that way.

 

[flexmaster33]

Sorry coach, but tonight was in fact your first win.
Once leagues start counting preseason wins toward playoff qualification, then I'll start counting them for our purposes.

 

[HejiraHenry]

Sorry coach, but tonight was in fact your first win.
Once leagues start counting preseason wins toward playoff qualification, then I'll start counting them for our purposes.

Related: Coach at playoff time who says he doesn't know his team's record. Bullship. You know it, it's bad and you don't want to see it in print.

 

[spikechiquet]

Sorry coach, but tonight was in fact your first win.
Once leagues start counting preseason wins toward playoff qualification, then I'll start counting them for our purposes.

Related: Coach at playoff time who says he doesn't know his team's record. Bullship. You know it, it's bad and you don't want to see it in print.

Not always the case. Many times, all they know is who they have beaten in league and who they have lost to in league...they don't seem to care about non-league games.

Many times, conversations (especially in lesser cared about sports) would go like this:
Spike: "And what is your record now?"
Golf coach: "Let's see, we beat North and South. We lost to Bumblefork and Podunk and we still have 3 league games to go...so 2 and 2...Oh wait...we lost to shipsville...I forgot about that one, so we are 2 and 3."
Spike: "Didn't you also lose to Big Catholic Central and "We Don't Recruit" High earlier this season?"
Golf: "Oh...yeah."