Dear dimwit on the phone

[HejiraHenry]

Been on vacation for the last week, and I had a gem waiting on my voicemail from last Wednesday when I got back, asking me why we didn't list the MLB games being played last Wednesday and Thursday.

"The schedule in your paper goes from the All-Stars right to Friday. Is that a mistake on your part?"

We were on full-family vacation last week and my mother-in-law was looking all over the cable on Thursday night for the Braves game. I had to double-check the schedule online myself to make sure about the Friday restart.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

dirtybird: I always talk to them both.

I might not use a quote from the out-of-town quote unless it's good.

Agreed. It's always good to talk to as many people as possible -- especially from both sides. That doesn't mean you have to use quotes from everyone you talk to, though.

At my shop, we have our gamers, which are done on the fly on Friday night and clock in about 12-15 inches. 1 or 2 quotes max. Just a lot of play-by-play. Not a lot of room for quotes. When you've got 15-20 minutes max to write (less for me since I'm also putting the paper together sometimes), that's the best you can do.

But when we do our folo stories for Monday, they tend to be more analytical and have more quotes and thus, more color. I think it's the best approach.

One thing I've found is the best players to interview on offense are linemen. They're so happy to have anyone recognize what they do so they always talk. They're usually pretty smart (a couple of linemen I've known were valedictorians) and have plenty to say. One of the best stories I ever wrote was about a team's offensive line, which averaged about 290 across and manhandled opponents into submission. The quotes they gave were clashic. And four of the families ordered mounted plaques with our story and art on it. Can you say new revenue stream?

Offensive linemen usually do have the best quotes.

One of the best features I've ever written, and had the most fun with, was about an offensive lineman whose dad was the star quarterback at the same school.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Been on vacation for the last week, and I had a gem waiting on my voicemail from last Wednesday when I got back, asking me why we didn't list the MLB games being played last Wednesday and Thursday.

"The schedule in your paper goes from the All-Stars right to Friday. Is that a mistake on your part?"

We were on full-family vacation last week and my mother-in-law was looking all over the cable on Thursday night for the Braves game. I had to double-check the schedule online myself to make sure about the Friday restart.

I can understand being confused a bit about Thursday. It's only been in the last couple of years that they've made the All-Star break a four-day thing.

Mistaking Wednesday though, is inexcusable.

 

[schiezainc]

Dear "Kwame", the "aspiring" "sports writer" who believes he is the next Rick Reilly,

I hate to be the one to break this to you bub but you might be the worst writer I have ever seen in my life. Not only do you insist on covering national sports topics with about the same intelligence as you would expect from internet trolls but you insist on sending these "articles" out to each and every newspaper regardless of size, demographic and/or interest and, frankly, no one gives a ship about you or your "talents".

I applaud you for being so determined to rise "to the top" but, sadly, you don't have it. Perhaps you should consider working your way up the ladder and starting at a small paper instead of thinking that someone, somewhere is going to see your latest take on Dwight Howard or the NBA Free Agency battle and say to themselves "Man, this is the voice of the people! I must hire this fella!".

Look, I can understand how tough it is to break in this business and how, when you're not in it, all you want to do is get a chance to prove you belong. The email of a news editor of a small podunk newspaper is going to get you nowhere, however.

So, please, stop wasting my time. I am not interested in your take on Chad Ochocinco any more than I am interested in hearing the grocery store clerk tell me what she thinks about Obamacare. I have better things to do with my time and reading your spam is not one of them.

Good luck on your career. I truly wish you well. Just leave me the hell alone.

-Schieza

 

[HanSenSE]

Dear "Kwame", the "aspiring" "sports writer" who believes he is the next Rick Reilly,

I hate to be the one to break this to you bub but you might be the worst writer I have ever seen in my life. Not only do you insist on covering national sports topics with about the same intelligence as you would expect from internet trolls but you insist on sending these "articles" out to each and every newspaper regardless of size, demographic and/or interest and, frankly, no one gives a ship about you or your "talents".

I applaud you for being so determined to rise "to the top" but, sadly, you don't have it. Perhaps you should consider working your way up the ladder and starting at a small paper instead of thinking that someone, somewhere is going to see your latest take on Dwight Howard or the NBA Free Agency battle and say to themselves "Man, this is the voice of the people! I must hire this fella!".

Look, I can understand how tough it is to break in this business and how, when you're not in it, all you want to do is get a chance to prove you belong. The email of a news editor of a small podunk newspaper is going to get you nowhere, however.

So, please, stop wasting my time. I am not interested in your take on Chad Ochocinco any more than I am interested in hearing the grocery store clerk tell me what she thinks about Obamacare. I have better things to do with my time and reading your spam is not one of them.

Good luck on your career. I truly wish you well. Just leave me the hell alone.

-Schieza

You read them? I give you vaulable SportsJournalists.com man points for that. I usually just consign them to the trash folder.

 

[schiezainc]

I have no problem with the person who writes these but if I were interested in reading this crap, I'd just log on to BleacherReport or any number of other "fan insight" sights.

 

[Spartan Squad]

I had this older woman call me up this afternoon about a new boutique that we ran a feature on in the paper. The lady sounded like she had to be in her 70s at least. She was insistent that she get a phone number to inquire about their wares. She was impressed that they sell items that were made in America.

This is an example of what they sell. I don't know if I'm disturbed by the prospect of a senior lady buying these or if I want to be there when she realizes this isn't her type of store.

 

[flexmaster33]

Hi Little League tourney organizer,
Just a heads up that when I trek up to the press box to introduce myself, the best response probably isn't "So, are you guys going to get it right this time?"

Oh, and when it's pointed out that the newspaper in question is a different publication than the one I've worked for the last 16 years, you can feel free to offer an apology of some sort.

And one more thing, next year when I send repeated emails and phone calls to multiple board members, including yourself asking for summer all-star rosters feel free to respond. Yes, the other three leagues in the area did...you did not.

Lastly, don't apply to host the state tournament when you are poorly organized and don't have lights on your field. I wouldn't be watching the same game on two different days if 1) you had lights on the field, like the other two Little League parks in town, or 2) it wouldn't have taken you 40 minutes to solve an umpires controversy last night.

 

[sgreenwell]

@ Spartan - Maybe she has a niece or granddaughter she wants to buy for? One of my aunts is in her 60s and she's still pretty hip when it comes to fashion, but she's buying for my little sister (24) as opposed to herself.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

Hi Little League tourney organizer,
Just a heads up that when I trek up to the press box to introduce myself, the best response probably isn't "So, are you guys going to get it right this time?"

Oh, and when it's pointed out that the newspaper in question is a different publication than the one I've worked for the last 16 years, you can feel free to offer an apology of some sort.

And one more thing, next year when I send repeated emails and phone calls to multiple board members, including yourself asking for summer all-star rosters feel free to respond. Yes, the other three leagues in the area did...you did not.

Lastly, don't apply to host the state tournament when you are poorly organized and don't have lights on your field. I wouldn't be watching the same game on two different days if 1) you had lights on the field, like the other two Little League parks in town, or 2) it wouldn't have taken you 40 minutes to solve an umpires controversy last night.

I'm so glad the tournament we're covering this week is very organized.

 

[Mark2010]

Dear "Kwame", the "aspiring" "sports writer" who believes he is the next Rick Reilly,

I hate to be the one to break this to you bub but you might be the worst writer I have ever seen in my life. Not only do you insist on covering national sports topics with about the same intelligence as you would expect from internet trolls but you insist on sending these "articles" out to each and every newspaper regardless of size, demographic and/or interest and, frankly, no one gives a ship about you or your "talents".

I applaud you for being so determined to rise "to the top" but, sadly, you don't have it. Perhaps you should consider working your way up the ladder and starting at a small paper instead of thinking that someone, somewhere is going to see your latest take on Dwight Howard or the NBA Free Agency battle and say to themselves "Man, this is the voice of the people! I must hire this fella!".

Look, I can understand how tough it is to break in this business and how, when you're not in it, all you want to do is get a chance to prove you belong. The email of a news editor of a small podunk newspaper is going to get you nowhere, however.

So, please, stop wasting my time. I am not interested in your take on Chad Ochocinco any more than I am interested in hearing the grocery store clerk tell me what she thinks about Obamacare. I have better things to do with my time and reading your spam is not one of them.

Good luck on your career. I truly wish you well. Just leave me the hell alone.

-Schieza

I have no idea who Kwame is, but this is what I wonder about stuff like Facebook and Twitter. Who gives a rat's tail about 99 percent of the stuff posted?

It just seems like all that is is a platform for every Tom, deck and Harry in the world to spout off about whatever. Maybe if I know someone personally, I'll occasionally read something they wrote. But the rest is just background noise.

Even forums like this are pretty much background noise. I know three members in real life. For all I know (or care) the rest of the posts could be generated by a computer in Siberia. I never understood why people got so worked up about what someone posts.

 

[schiezainc]

Dear Mark2010,

I'm sorry you didn't appreciate my last post in the dimwit thread. I thought said thread was a place to vent about the crap we have to deal with in journalism and the people who waste our time. I must have misunderstood.

Hugs and Kisses,

-Schieza