Don't drink that Caucasian!

[swingline]

Shortest, too.

 

[Slacker]

Meanwhile, Gettysburg has an early contender
in all the prestigious Headline of the Year contests ...

Restaurant's former employees lay claims

That should really pump up the rack sales, too. Who says journalism is dead!?!

 

[Sea Bass]

A note to writers: if you feel you need to use "alleged" at least once a sentence in damn near every sentence in an article, you may not have the story yet. (And you badly need an editor.)

God did that make the story tough to read.