You don't need to be optimistic to stop shirtting on every opportunity that people go out of their way to hand to you.
I've been there, laid off from a job I loved and the only profession I ever knew. I had to sit and watch as my wife and children grew increasingly fearful of what our future would be, as I sent out dozens of resumes and application materials every week, with only a few relevant nibbles, as the clock wound down on my severance and unemployment. I know exactly what it feels like. If I still had a sizeable life insurance policy from my old job, I probably would have considered having a one-car "auto accident" that would have allowed my family to collect on my death.
No matter how desperate I got, or how my optimism and self-worth was sapped from every part of my body on a daily basis, the thought of turning away legitimate help and opportunities from friends and loved ones never crossed my mind. And I got to where I am now - in corporate PR, where I am excited every morning to get out of bed and go to a supportive environment with people I love working with, for more money than I ever would have made in newspapers - because I accepted help and tips that people offered to me. It wasn't a straight-line journey, but was born of relationships that developed when I took a meeting, and a part-time job and freelance work, then this person knew that person who used to work with this person, etc., to get to where I am now. You never know what can come of taking a meeting or a coffee or an information-seeking interview for an opportunity, no matter how useless you may see it being.
It's not about being "optimistic" or being a better man. It's about deciding whether you want to get out of this hole or you're content to play the victim and find reasons to turn down any offers of help that come our way.
This is so spot-on, and lots of us can relate. Different than what you used to do doesn't have to mean it's worse, or not something you could be happy and successful in.
You might have to do some things you don't want to do, or that you never thought you'd do, in order to get to a better place, but it'll happen at some point if you allow it, and the results/changes might surprise you.
I've posted on here before that I was close to having to sell my home, I moved in with family members and worked in a variety of temp, freelance and part-time jobs before, in a very real sense, Walmart rescued me after what was a struggle lasting more than three years. I haven't pushed it too much, because, well, it's Walmart, and, I know, who wants to work at Walmart if they don't have to? But honestly, sometimes, you've got to start somewhere, and I've been shocked to be happily ensconced there for nearly 10 years now.
The work is more physical than most people would think, and I work hard. Indeed, sometimes, I'm exhausted, and yes, I don't think I'm paid enough for what I give to the job. But that's no different than it was when I was in newspapers. And I appreciate the reality now that I actually have a pretty good job, with decent benefits, a great 401k, quarterly bonuses, and a store manager I enjoy working for/with, and who I think believes in and trusts me. I have a group of 10 associates and a rapidly-growing, way-of-the-future department that I manage, as well as a real, actual, kind of fascinating business, or "store within a store," as we call our departments, all within eight minutes' driving time from my home. Which I managed to hang on to and pay off a couple of years ago with the help of this job.
There's so much opportunity here that, now, I sometimes wish I would have started at Walmart 10 or 15 years earlier/younger, because I think I would've flown up the ranks and been practically rolling in dough as a salaried member of market or regional management by now. Despite my being unlikely to have that chance, as I begin thinking more about retirement, I also know that retirement might not happen -- might not need to happen, unless I want it -- because I work for a company for which I can move/transfer almost anywhere in the country, and the world, and I know that might come in handy, too, as I'm likely to be looking into more affordable locations to live on a fixed/lesser income in the years ahead.
The point is, you've got to keep trying different things, Smallpotatoes, and stop being so negative and fatalistic. I know it's not easy, but you're not helping yourself, and you never know what might end up piquing your interest and working for you, for whatever reasons.
Remember, nobody is coming. It's up to you, so don't give up. Life really is good, especially after it's bad.
