Run-on sentences, time/date/place addition

[Lyman_Bostock]

Not really just say, "With the victory, Podunk High advances to ... and will face Bumfork Central."

Why do you even have to say, "With the victory ...?" The loser doesn't advance.

As you probably can tell, I'm a copy editor and I've seen "with the victory" far too many times. And it gets deleted every time, yet still the same reporters keep recycling that worthless, space-killing phrase over and over and over ...

Indeed, the phrase is straight from the Department of Redundancy Department.

I'm assuming you refer to the level of play when you give the final score, or close to it. "... a 34-32 victory in the third round of the Division II playoffs." Later, maybe say: "Winner will play East Loser at 5 p.m. Wednesday in the semifinals."

There are ways to spread that info out over the first 4-5 grafs without using a clunky, out-of-place sentence.

 

[SoSueMe]

Not really just say, "With the victory, Podunk High advances to ... and will face Bumfork Central."

Why do you even have to say, "With the victory ...?" The loser doesn't advance.

As you probably can tell, I'm a copy editor and I've seen "with the victory" far too many times. And it gets deleted every time, yet still the same reporters keep recycling that worthless, space-killing phrase over and over and over ...

Not always. With the loss here Saturday a team actually advanced to a bowl game (Canadian thing).

Winner advanced to a better bowl and loser to a lesser bowl.

However, you can still say: Podunk now plays in Bowl A while Bumfork heads to Bowl B.

Less words, same point.