Russia “coup” running thread - Доверяй, но проверяй

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

But of course he's just echoing his fanbase, filled with entitled white men b

This is the ghost of Newsweek, reporting Iranian news outlets which are in turn citing the Russian state news agency Sputnik, so take it all with a grain of salt. But it appears Putin might have finally found someone he can trust.
When a renegade general has you Marked For Death and put your country Under Siege, you need to call on someone that's Hard to Kill to get the job done. Someone with a little Fire Down Below, if you know what I mean. It's The Foreigner, a Force For Execution in his own right, The Perfect Weapon to run your military.
Yes, friends, we're talking about Steven Seagal.

Is Putin replacing under-fire defense minister with Steven Seagal?

EDIT: Dammit, I didn't read down far enough. It appears it's a social media hoax that some outlets ran with, and Newsweek roped me in with a really shirtty headline and lead. This is why you suck now, Newsweek.
I'll leave the post and link, though, for the sheer humor value of the thought of Steven Seagal leading the Russian military.

Honestly, it's believable enough.

 

[MileHigh]

 

[wicked]

Perhaps Dozor-Teleport is controlled by one of Putin's oligarch buddies, but why would you leave government communications in the hands of a private company? U.S. military has its own internal communications systems that two-thirds of the country probably never heard of.

 

[Neutral Corner]

 

[Regan MacNeil]

God, I forking hate the Daily Mail. One step above the Babylon Bee. And not a particularly large step.

 

[Batman]

I'd have expected her to fall from the 6th floor.

 

[Michael_ Gee]

Somebody important's mistress, but whose?

 

[wicked]

Perhaps the general who just got arrested.

 

[Neutral Corner]

Or she knew something that she can no longer disclose.

There were rumors that the reason Wagner stopped was that the FSB had grabbed the families of several high ranking officers, then put them on the phone. It might be some sort of related pressure or punishment. Maybe she was somebody's daughter. Who knows?

edit: Based on her appearance, "mistress" seems a very reasonable guess. Solid Six.

 

[micropolitan guy]

She's no Jane Hathaway.

 

[Neutral Corner]

 

[Hermes]

If Russians are like Americans, suddenly there will be outrage.

"But this time… it was an attractive person!"