Your Fuse...

[MisterCreosote]

As I've aged into my early 50s and gone through the highs and lows of raising our children, I definitely have mellowed out. By and large I have stopped "sweating the small stuff" … with one notable exception.

I'm still the same self-described "Asshole at the Wheel" that I always have been as a driver. Thankfully I drive as little as possible, and rarely in big city traffic anymore.

As several friends have told me over the years, when I'm driving is the only time they "see the Chicagoan come out."

LOL. One of the reasons I don't blow my top anymore is because my kids started repeating "Oh, fork Maryland!", which was my catchphrase every time I drove through that hellhole.

 

[Deskgrunt50]

I still yell at drivers of cars and riders of bikes as they break traffic laws in NYC. But that's more sport than anger.

When I was young, I had my dad's hair-trigger temper. He would boil over regularly (usually over silly things) and be fine shortly thereafter. Of course, it took longer for others to move past his tantrums. He was oblivious.

I made a point pretty early to force myself to adopt the temperament of my laid-back, funny, thoughtful grandfather. It wasn't easy and it took a long time. And I wasn't always successful.

I'm in a good place with it now. It takes A LOT for me to get really pissed off. Current politics does it, so I'm trying to lessen that habit. Honestly, posting about politics here is helpful for me to vent. I don't do politics anywhere else for the most part.

As was posted earlier, in my 20s I could be a giant asshole on the golf course due to my temper and frustration. I still get frustrated out there, but now I'm mostly just happy to be playing.

 

[MileHigh]

I'm a pretty patient person and it takes a lot to really set me off. And I think it helps that I'm a sports official and I need to be the calm one out there when all heck is breaking loose. And I think the crash/loss of family put a lot of things into perspective for me: There's more to life than some asshole cutting you off as you're heading home. I have very little time and energy for negativity and losing my shirt for no good reason.

 

[dixiehack]

I'm in a good place with it now. It takes A LOT for me to get really pissed off. Current politics does it, so I'm trying to lessen that habit. Honestly, posting about politics here is helpful for me to vent. I don't do politics anywhere else for the most part.

I've dialed way back on my political posts on Facebook, in large part because I've been on a church committee the last couple of years that serves as the go between for staff and parishioners. As such, I try to keep a mindset that I'm there to serve everybody and not just the ones whose politics line up with mine. There's been some teeth grinding this year (although I have noticed less politics on Facebook overall compared to the last 2-3 cycles. Either I've done better at calibrating my feed or people are burnt out both ways.)

 

[Deskgrunt50]

I've dialed way back on my political posts on Facebook, in large part because I've been on a church committee the last couple of years that serves as the go between for staff and parishioners. As such, I try to keep a mindset that I'm there to serve everybody and not just the ones whose politics line up with mine. There's been some teeth grinding this year (although I have noticed less politics on Facebook overall compared to the last 2-3 cycles. Either I've done better at calibrating my feed or people are burnt out both ways.)

Oh, man. I stopped all politics on social media early on. I grew up in a very red area and when trump came on the scene… I would post some snarky stuff. Never profane/nasty/personal. But instead of mild political banter I got ANGRY stuff coming at me. From many I didn't expect.

That, along with working in the media, I cut it out completely. Nothing good would come from it. As one of my best friends says, one post on Twitter can be 240-word resignation letter.

Eliminating that and cutting way down on scrolling social media is good thing. A complete hiatus from politics would do wonders.

I've been fortunate to travel out of the country a couple of times this year. One trip had NO news/tv. The other had just some BBC. Made me long for calm, straight news coverage. Ours is very forked.

To bring it back on topic, I'm happy as heck I didn't have social media in my 20s and early 30s. I was more brash and looking to stir things up.

I woulda been way addicted to it and gone over the line with a shorter fuse. It would've been totally bad for my mental health.

As I suspect it is for many of all ages now.

 

[MisterCreosote]

Not even YankeeFan talks politics on Facebook. That's just how dumb and toxic it has become.

 

[BurnsWhenIPee]

I was a hothead earlier in life, like mad in traffic and things like that. Never was "likes to fight" guy, which I'm sure saved me from some beatings, legal troubles and lots of other headaches. So that's good.

I *feel* like I'm much more mellow now, on the back nine of my existence. But I still find myself getting all worked up over some of the most random things, like when I see kids age 10-12 driving golf carts with younger siblings on board on the city streets in our subdivision. Not safe, not legal, and just begging for a tragedy. Turns me into the Incredible Hulk.

Also, have an acquaintance who is constantly on social media bitching about inflation and they can't make ends meet and basically beg for money all the time, asking for odd jobs to do "to put food on the table for my babies", but this person also smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day, has a beer in his hand seemingly 24/7 and is always talking about the next tattoo he is planning to get. I just need to snooze him, but for fork's sake, live with the priorities and decisions you make.

I just need to take a social media sabbatical for a summer or a year or forever. Guarantee that would give me a good cleansing of the soul.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

I'd like to think I've calmed down a bit on social media in the last couple of years. Where before, I would go on a Facebook page that supports political issues that I disagree with and spend 20 hours arguing with 200 people before the page would block me.

Now, maybe it's because of the pandemic, where I reminded myself that science was my worst subject in school, that I should stay in my lane and stay out of the arguments, I've reduced the amount of political debates. I still sometimes see an argument that my fingers are just shaking in wanting to type out something to contradict the other side, but I tell myself, "do I really want to spend the rest of today on my phone or find something more fun to do?"

I still get pissy when I'm driving, because to me, unless there's an emergency or bad road conditions, there's no excuse for not driving the speed limit. The other driver may think that driving 40 in a 55 is only wasting two minutes of my commute, but to me, if everyone did that, that would mean 4 minutes a day round trip, times 3 days a week (telecommute 2X/week) times 50 weeks or so. 600 minutes. Why do I have to lose 10 hours of my life each year just because you're out for a fun drive? Hence, my temper.

 

[jr/shotglass]

It's funny how I will steer away from politics completely on Facebook ... but I'll call anyone out on X.

But again, I don't consider that blowing my top. I consider that sarcastic dismissal. That's different.

 

[playthrough]

I thought of this thread last night after I blew up at home. Backstory: my wife was in 4-H as a kid, learning all about knitting and baking and the animals and all. She enjoyed it and wanted our daughters to be in it too, but to them it has never been fun but rather "something my parents are making me do" like piano lessons or something. My oldest, now in college, whined her way through it for nine years. Drove me crazy. The youngest had just started in 4-H, also kvetching each time, and when my wife announced last night that it was time for a baking project, the the kid howled and I totally snapped: "I AM NOT DOING NINE YEARS OF THIS AGAIN!" I haven't lost my shirt like that in a while and was almost impressed.

About 10 minutes later my wife finds me in another room. "We have decided not to do 4-H anymore."

 

[jr/shotglass]

I thought of this thread last night after I blew up at home. Backstory: my wife was in 4-H as a kid, learning all about knitting and baking and the animals and all. She enjoyed it and wanted our daughters to be in it too, but to them it has never been fun but rather "something my parents are making me do" like piano lessons or something. My oldest, now in college, whined her way through it for nine years. Drove me crazy. The youngest had just started in 4-H, also kvetching each time, and when my wife announced last night that it was time for a baking project, the the kid howled and I totally snapped: "I AM NOT DOING NINE YEARS OF THIS AGAIN!" I haven't lost my shirt like that in a while and was almost impressed.

About 10 minutes later my wife finds me in another room. "We have decided not to do 4-H anymore."

They call that definitive and effective.

 

[outofplace]

I've gotten better at staying out of situations I know will pish me off, at least when I know I'm not in the right frame of mind for it. I call that progress.