Colonoscopy ... give me good vibes

[ChrisLong]

I have two stories related to this:

1-My Mom had some medical tests and came into my room with information from the doctor. I was probably junior high age. She said, "I just got the results from the doctor and might need surgery. I have a polyp in my rectum." I asked what a polyp was. She pointed to a dictionary and said to look it up. WTF!!!

Polyphemus are a predatory genus of water flea. The two species have four pairs of legs with exopodites, or outer branches.[3] The legs are adapted for catching mobile prey, generally smaller species of water flea such as young Daphnia and Bosmina.[4]

That was the last definition in the dictionary list for polyp.

2-I was with her when she was in the recovery room following a colonscopy. The little Filipino nurse was monitoring her as she tried to release the gas. Squeeky voice Filipino accent: "You have to fart. Mrs. Long, you have to fart. C'mon Mrs., you have to fart. You can't go home until you fart. Mrs., please fart."

 

[jr/shotglass]

Why, that solution does taste like ass, doesn't it. LOL.

(I had to add the word "solution" so it was clear I was not insulting Chris' mom.)

 

[MileHigh]

The last couple of times, they gave me one or two lemonade packets to help with the taste. The last time, I went and got more (yellow powder) and added to it and it made it a little bit better to drink so maybe consider doing that.

 

[jr/shotglass]

Thanks. It's just water the rest of the evening now, and then one more glass of that tomorrow morning. I'm going to grit my teeth and take it.

 

[Matt1735]

We can say a lot about you jr, but we can no longer truthfully say you are full of shirt. ....

 

[El Guapo]

Had mine done a few years ago right after birthday 45. I insisted because a coworker younger than me died of colon cancer not long before, and lucky for me insurance companies are covering colonoscopies at younger ages.

Prep was terrible with a steady diet of ginger ale and Gatorade but I got through the procedure just fine. Some internal hemorrhoids, which I understand is common.

My wife had hers done last month, also right after her 45th birthday. Apparently, drinking coffee is OK now during the prep period (I was told it wasn't when I was going through mine). With her procedure, the nurse told us t hat bad news travels fast, so if you don't hear directly from your doctor within a couple of days you should be on easy street.

 

[Scout]

Damn, Guapo.

She bueno?

 

[El Guapo]

Damn, Guapo.

She bueno?

Yes, everything is fine. The nurse was speaking in general terms.

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

Good luck, Shottie! Hope you just get a good nap out of all this.

 

[Hermes]

I read this thread title as "Colonoscopies give me good vibes."

 

[jr/shotglass]

Out and ALL GOOD. I really appreciate the support. Thanks, all ... now we EAT!!

 

[BurnsWhenIPee]

Even after watching the in-procedure movie, the thing I'll remember most about my procedures is how freaking starving I was afterward.

Do some damage, jr.