Who Wants To Be 80?

[qtlaw]

I feel very fortunate to have been raised in the Cantonese way of parenting. My mom, who I love to death and who, my wife tells me, I think "can do no wrong", parented seriously old school. Don't ask very much, corporal punishment if needed (I got the feather duster once across the back of the legs at 6 or 7 and that was enough), and demand that I (1) respect your parents/grandparents/grownups/elders; (2) don't embarrass the family; (3) do the right thing and (4) do well in school. With my dad passing, I see her at least once a week, talk nearly every day. However, our conversations are not too intrusive. I only share what I want and what is necessary. Conversely, oh boy, wifey has the exact opposite. My in-laws want to know EVERYTHING and unfortunately (IMHO) second guess everything and simply cannot let well enough go. I cannot do that, I certainly learn from the past but have never second-guessed anything because I figure that's done with, can't change anything, only leads to negative thoughts. Flush it away. My mom taught me that and for that I am forever grateful (luckily my stepdad was the same).

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

I'm a bit amazed that I'm in as good a shape I'm in at 70. I'm sipping a New Glarus Pilsner as I'm writing, my third beer of the day (it'll be my last). I suppose I could be described as a lifelong functioning alcoholic. As a youngster I dabbled in street drugs, especially LSD and benzedrine (marijuana as well, but who counts that today). My BP is 120s/80s with the help of 25mg losartan. Glucose hovers around 100. I pee freely and don't ache too much. I can knock out a Will Shortz "demanding" Sudoku inside of 20 minutes.
Mom was a rock but she wore her body out doing physical labor. She died at 84, suffered RA for probably 10 years before that. The doc says I don't have it. Dad lasted till he was 87 but was demented for five years. That is what I fear. If I start losing my marbles I'll sit in an idling car in a closed garage.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

Amusing. The post in which I just admitted being an alcoholic has earned me an "addicted" trophy from the forum. Cheers!

 

[WriteThinking]

A friend I used to go to church with lost both her parents to Covid within the first couple of months of quarantine and did not get to see either of them in their nursing home before they passed. I'm not entirely sure she has recovered emotionally.

Uuhh. That is awful.

 

[MisterCreosote]

This week I'll be seeing my great-aunt. She turns 106 in August. She still lives in the same five-bedroom home she's been in since the early 1950s. She crawls around her garden during the day, bakes, writes poetry, sews, knits, researches genealogy and just finished writing a history of the town I grew up in. She has hundreds of grandkids/great-grandkids/great-great-grandkids/nieces/nephews/great-nieces/great-nephews, etc., but last year I was on her porch and my mom was talking about something and said, "I think it's June 18th," and my great-aunt replied two seconds later that that's just two days before my birthday. Her mind is as sharp as ever and she doesn't have a gray hair, despite never dyeing it. Last Thanksgiving me and mom popped by her house the night before and she came running in from the kitchen and said, "I was just finishing up peeling all the potatoes," and her table was already set for the 20 or so people coming over the next day. She's about 4 feet tall by this point and she's the most remarkable person I know.

Alas...she married my grandpa's twin so I don't have her genes. But I have definitely learned lessons from her on her outlook on life and maybe that will help me make it to 80 and in decent shape.

Funny you should mention this. I was just thinking about my great aunt (my uncle's mother-in-law, so no blood relation to me), who lived to 103.

She was exactly like your great aunt, always up and around like she was in her 70s. She gained a reputation as the card shark of her assisted living facility due to her twice-a-week poker games.

She survived COVID at 102. But she started going downhill pretty quick after that, and passed right before Christmas 2021. And I swear, she barely looked any different at her funeral than she did during cousin sleepovers at her house when I was 10.

 

[Deskgrunt50]

As a new member of Club 50, I've been thinking about this a bit. I don't feel different, but I definitely think about my expiration date a little more.

That undoubtedly is linked with my dad dying in 2017 at age 75 and my mom last year at 80. Both had cancer. So the ticking clock is certainly a bit louder. If I only have 25-30 years, and they go as fast as the last 25-30, then life feels short.

But, my overall thoughts haven't changed much since I was 21. My best friend died unexpectedly. Fine one day. Gone the next. Brain aneurysm.

That really made me realize that you never know. You can't predict. And to make the most of the time you have. There are no guarantees.

I try to enjoy all my time with family and friends. And do as much fun stuff and travel as often as I can. See and experience new things. I try to be a good person.

As far as the original question, I want to live as long as I've got my marbles and I'm not in excruciating pain. And I hope that's a very long time.

 

[qtlaw]

My best friend died unexpectedly. Fine one day. Gone the next. Brain aneurysm.

That really made me realize that you never know. You can't predict. And to make the most of the time you have. There are no guarantees.

I had one friend from law school die from an aneurysm when we were 28, just two years out of law school.

Then my friend's husband, who had retired at about 35 with about $10M in Cisco stock (his company was bought) with his wife and daughter in a big home, died the same way when he was about 40. Went to sleep with a headache then boom.....gone.

That's the scariest one IMHO.

 

[Deskgrunt50]

I had one friend from law school die from an aneurysm when we were 28, just two years out of law school.

Then my friend's husband, who had retired at about 35 with about $10M in Cisco stock (his company was bought) with his wife and daughter in a big home, died the same way when he was about 40. Went to sleep with a headache then boom.....gone.

That's the scariest one IMHO.

Agree on scariest. No symptoms. No warning. My friend was the same as yours. Scouting our next opponent in an campus-wide intramural hoops tournament. Got a bad headache, which he quickly knew was more than a headache and went to the hospital. He had emergency surgery but it was too late.

It was almost 30 years ago, and I've never made any sense out of it. Other than trying to heed the lesson of making the most of my time.