Dear dimwit on the phone

[spikechiquet]

Caller wanted to know why we don't cover the football team at Columbus (Miss.) High School.

Well, I said, it's because we don't sell papers there -- it's 70 miles away and outside of our circulation footprint.

That really didn't suit her. She was confident that we "had something against" that team.

Did I mention that her grandson is an assistant coach there? Of course he is.

Henry: I walways worry when I see a post at 11:15 on a Friday night.

Reminds me once of a phone call I got at the small town daily where I worked. This was a p.m. paper with a Saturday a.m. edition, with no Sunday paper. Keep in mind that this was the late 90s, email wasn't as universal as it is now, and neither was our technology at the paper.

Call came, I'd say, around 11 p.m. on a Friday night.

Me: Hello, Podunk Daily Times

Other guy: Hello, what time do you go to press?

Me: Um, pretty shortly.

Other guy: Well, how shortly does the press start running?

Me: It starts running at midnight.

Other guy: Then I'm not too late.

Me: Actually, our deadline for results is 10:30, but I'll see if I have some space on the sports page.

Other guy: No, I'm not calling for a sports result. I'm Kane the Undertaker at the Paul Bearer Funeral Home. I have a funeral notice that has to run tomorrow morning. The funeral is Sunday.

Me: I'm sorry sir, but the deadline for obituaries is at 5 p.m. for the Saturday paper.

Other guy: What do you mean, 5 p.m.? You just said the press started at midnight.

Me: That's true sir, but we do the obituary pages in advance. The pages are already done and gone to press.

Other guy: You said the press hasn't started yet. So I have time to submit this funeral notice in. What's your fax number?

Me: Sir, it's not going to run tomorrow.

Other guy: Why not? What are you guys doing down there?

Me: Because we don't have time to receive your fax, type in your notice, tear up the page, re-design the page, get it ready for the camera, shoot it, and then get it up on the press in 55 minutes.

Other guy: Why don't you have time? Who else is there?

Me: The Assistant News Editor.

Other guy: Let me talk to him.

Me: He's busy.

Other guy: Doing what?

Me: Putting out the rest of the paper.

Then the guy threatened to call the publisher, I told him to go ahead, although if he did, then he would guarantee that it wouldn't run. That Monday, publisher told me about it, and said the guy had been an asshole for years.

You're lucky he didn't chokeslam you, especially if the obit was for Katie Vick.

Ohhhh, snap! Even I know that reference and I haven't watched "wrastlin'" in 5 or 6 years!

 

[Tommy_Dreamer]

Caller wanted to know why we don't cover the football team at Columbus (Miss.) High School.

Well, I said, it's because we don't sell papers there -- it's 70 miles away and outside of our circulation footprint.

That really didn't suit her. She was confident that we "had something against" that team.

Did I mention that her grandson is an assistant coach there? Of course he is.

Henry: I walways worry when I see a post at 11:15 on a Friday night.

Reminds me once of a phone call I got at the small town daily where I worked. This was a p.m. paper with a Saturday a.m. edition, with no Sunday paper. Keep in mind that this was the late 90s, email wasn't as universal as it is now, and neither was our technology at the paper.

Call came, I'd say, around 11 p.m. on a Friday night.

Me: Hello, Podunk Daily Times

Other guy: Hello, what time do you go to press?

Me: Um, pretty shortly.

Other guy: Well, how shortly does the press start running?

Me: It starts running at midnight.

Other guy: Then I'm not too late.

Me: Actually, our deadline for results is 10:30, but I'll see if I have some space on the sports page.

Other guy: No, I'm not calling for a sports result. I'm Kane the Undertaker at the Paul Bearer Funeral Home. I have a funeral notice that has to run tomorrow morning. The funeral is Sunday.

Me: I'm sorry sir, but the deadline for obituaries is at 5 p.m. for the Saturday paper.

Other guy: What do you mean, 5 p.m.? You just said the press started at midnight.

Me: That's true sir, but we do the obituary pages in advance. The pages are already done and gone to press.

Other guy: You said the press hasn't started yet. So I have time to submit this funeral notice in. What's your fax number?

Me: Sir, it's not going to run tomorrow.

Other guy: Why not? What are you guys doing down there?

Me: Because we don't have time to receive your fax, type in your notice, tear up the page, re-design the page, get it ready for the camera, shoot it, and then get it up on the press in 55 minutes.

Other guy: Why don't you have time? Who else is there?

Me: The Assistant News Editor.

Other guy: Let me talk to him.

Me: He's busy.

Other guy: Doing what?

Me: Putting out the rest of the paper.

Then the guy threatened to call the publisher, I told him to go ahead, although if he did, then he would guarantee that it wouldn't run. That Monday, publisher told me about it, and said the guy had been an asshole for years.

You certainly urned his ire on that one.

Although if I were you, I would've gone all Papa Shango on his ass.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

Dear soccer coach/mom,
There is no way, when writing a roundup of the day's games, that we will include EVERY SINGLE FREAKING ASSIST from a game. And I'm sorry if you think only the "superstars" are getting attention in our paper, but that was all the information the boys' coach gave us. I'm sorry that your son had an assist and didn't get mentioned.

But don't blame me or my coworkers.

Also, you may want to re-check the rosters you gave us at the start of the season. You had one player listed as a senior, and we've been listing her as such whenever she's mentioned in a roundup. So don't get pissed when we call her a senior when she's really a junior and you didn't bother to tell us until today.

Frustratingly yours,
KY

 

[Tom Petty]

honest question: why would you randomly wing in their grades just for the fork of it unless it factors into the roundup ... such as a freshman coming through in the clutch or something along those lines?

 

[Stitch]

TP: In my experience at smaller papers and one larger one, SEs want writers to throw those details into a story or roundup.

 

[Tom Petty]

i always told my people not to unless it was a preview or if it factored into the roundup/story somehow ... just another way to get something wrong. back in the day you used to be able to trust a high school coach to tell you what grade a kid was in because 99 percent of the time they worked at the school. nowadays, not so much.

that's just the way i approached it. not saying i was right or wrong ... but i do know i stopped taking calls about IDing wrong grades when, in the bigger picture, it really didn't add nothing to the piece, IMO.

 

[apeman33]

When I first started, I was told to put in the grades of the kids. Then if I was pressed for time and I couldn't remember, I'd have to stop and get out a roster to make sure. But it hit me one day when someone said, "Why do you always say 'freshman So-and-So'? Does it really matter?" Then I realized that most of the time, it doesn't.

 

[sgreenwell]

KY, the last paper I was at, we did normally list all of the assists in a game in the roundup. However, it was a daily and only have three public and two private schools in its coverage area (meaning at most 10 soccer teams playing in a specific day), whereas from the sounds of it you probably have a lot more teams to deal with.

 

[JosephC.Myers]

Caller wanted to know why we don't cover the football team at Columbus (Miss.) High School.

Well, I said, it's because we don't sell papers there -- it's 70 miles away and outside of our circulation footprint.

That really didn't suit her. She was confident that we "had something against" that team.

Did I mention that her grandson is an assistant coach there? Of course he is.

Henry: I walways worry when I see a post at 11:15 on a Friday night.

Reminds me once of a phone call I got at the small town daily where I worked. This was a p.m. paper with a Saturday a.m. edition, with no Sunday paper. Keep in mind that this was the late 90s, email wasn't as universal as it is now, and neither was our technology at the paper.

Call came, I'd say, around 11 p.m. on a Friday night.

Me: Hello, Podunk Daily Times

Other guy: Hello, what time do you go to press?

Me: Um, pretty shortly.

Other guy: Well, how shortly does the press start running?

Me: It starts running at midnight.

Other guy: Then I'm not too late.

Me: Actually, our deadline for results is 10:30, but I'll see if I have some space on the sports page.

Other guy: No, I'm not calling for a sports result. I'm Kane the Undertaker at the Paul Bearer Funeral Home. I have a funeral notice that has to run tomorrow morning. The funeral is Sunday.

Me: I'm sorry sir, but the deadline for obituaries is at 5 p.m. for the Saturday paper.

Other guy: What do you mean, 5 p.m.? You just said the press started at midnight.

Me: That's true sir, but we do the obituary pages in advance. The pages are already done and gone to press.

Other guy: You said the press hasn't started yet. So I have time to submit this funeral notice in. What's your fax number?

Me: Sir, it's not going to run tomorrow.

Other guy: Why not? What are you guys doing down there?

Me: Because we don't have time to receive your fax, type in your notice, tear up the page, re-design the page, get it ready for the camera, shoot it, and then get it up on the press in 55 minutes.

Other guy: Why don't you have time? Who else is there?

Me: The Assistant News Editor.

Other guy: Let me talk to him.

Me: He's busy.

Other guy: Doing what?

Me: Putting out the rest of the paper.

Then the guy threatened to call the publisher, I told him to go ahead, although if he did, then he would guarantee that it wouldn't run. That Monday, publisher told me about it, and said the guy had been an asshole for years.

You certainly urned his ire on that one.

Although if I were you, I would've gone all Papa Shango on his ass.

Now this is a great pro wrestling reference right here.

 

[expendable]

i always told my people not to unless it was a preview or if it factored into the roundup/story somehow ... just another way to get something wrong. back in the day you used to be able to trust a high school coach to tell you what grade a kid was in because 99 percent of the time they worked at the school. nowadays, not so much.

that's just the way i approached it. not saying i was right or wrong ... but i do know i stopped taking calls about IDing wrong grades when, in the bigger picture, it really didn't add nothing to the piece, IMO.

That's a damn good point, TP.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

honest question: why would you randomly wing in their grades just for the fork of it unless it factors into the roundup ... such as a freshman coming through in the clutch or something along those lines?

It's just how we do things here, TP. Always have for as long as I can remember.

 

[Tom Petty]

honest question: why would you randomly wing in their grades just for the fork of it unless it factors into the roundup ... such as a freshman coming through in the clutch or something along those lines?

It's just how we do things here, TP. Always have for as long as I can remember.

hahahaha. if my kid said something along those lines, i'd hold her back a year in school.


and thanks, expendable.