The sj.com 2009 charts: ANGOLA MADE IT!

[forever_town]

At least he doesn't miss a beat.

 

[mike311gd]

There's nothing wrong with practicing for the big game.

 

[hockeybeat]

If playing with oneself were an industry, Mike would be Paul Allen.

 

[forever_town]

If playing with oneself were the NHL, Mike would be Alex Ovechkin.

 

[mike311gd]

Bunch of comedians on this board. At least I'm successful at what I do, guys. Wanking professionally is tougher than it sounds. And I know you hear all the stories of groupies waiting around every 1980s porno mag and box of Kleenex. Well, they're all lies. No one wants a piece of you when you're finished. They don't even want to shake your hand.

But I do it for the kids. They need a hero, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be that guy. And no tweak of the shoulder, sore elbow or hand cramp will prevent me from reaching my goal.

 

[forever_town]

And Denial is a river in Egypt.

 

[slappy4428]

Bunch of comedians on this board. At least I'm successful at what I do, guys. Wanking professionally is tougher than it sounds. And I know you hear all the stories of groupies waiting around every 1980s porno mag and box of Kleenex. Well, they're all lies. No one wants a piece of you when you're finished. They don't even want to shake your hand.

But I do it for the kids. They need a hero, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be that guy. And no tweak of the shoulder, sore elbow or hand cramp will prevent me from reaching my goal.

And the world, will be better for this.

 

[hockeybeat]

If playing with oneself were the NHL, Mike would be Wayne Gretzky.

 

[mike311gd]

Bunch of comedians on this board. At least I'm successful at what I do, guys. Wanking professionally is tougher than it sounds. And I know you hear all the stories of groupies waiting around every 1980s porno mag and box of Kleenex. Well, they're all lies. No one wants a piece of you when you're finished. They don't even want to shake your hand.

But I do it for the kids. They need a hero, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be that guy. And no tweak of the shoulder, sore elbow or hand cramp will prevent me from reaching my goal.

And the world, will be better for this.

For my dedication or my lack of a chance at procreation?

 

[forever_town]

Bunch of comedians on this board. At least I'm successful at what I do, guys. Wanking professionally is tougher than it sounds. And I know you hear all the stories of groupies waiting around every 1980s porno mag and box of Kleenex. Well, they're all lies. No one wants a piece of you when you're finished. They don't even want to shake your hand.

But I do it for the kids. They need a hero, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be that guy. And no tweak of the shoulder, sore elbow or hand cramp will prevent me from reaching my goal.

And the world, will be better for this.

For my dedication or my lack of a chance at procreation?

Six in one hand, half a dozen in the other. Wait...

 

[slappy4428]

If playing with oneself were solitare, Mike would be ... shirt.. pretty good.

 

[mike311gd]

There is no comeback for that. You win this round, Slappy.