Which of your phrase-turns are you most proud of?

[Montezuma's Revenge]

This may out me, but when the lights went out for a minute during a HS basketball game, I wrote that: Bumbleburg shot the lights out Saturday night. Literally.

I'm guessing Bumbleburg did not literally shoot the lights out. Do you know what the word literally means? You might think you do, but your lede suggests you don't.

Unless someone shot a gun at the lights and forced them to go out, this is another case of a writer turning figuratively into literally.

Sorry, just a huge pet peeve of mine.

Pet peeve of mine, too. It was literally a joke because I've seen that lede once a year or so in
prep coverage.

I've also seen this type of lede a handful of times. I'm probably wrote a lead like that some years ago.

Would this be a better lede:

Bumbleburg shot the lights out Saturday night. Figuratively.

How about this?

Talk about shooting out the lights.

The Bumbleberg Stumblebums ...

Then you get away from that clunky literally/figuratively stuff.

 

[I'll never tell]

This may out me, but when the lights went out for a minute during a HS basketball game, I wrote that: Bumbleburg shot the lights out Saturday night. Literally.

I'm guessing Bumbleburg did not literally shoot the lights out. Do you know what the word literally means? You might think you do, but your lede suggests you don't.

Unless someone shot a gun at the lights and forced them to go out, this is another case of a writer turning figuratively into literally.

Sorry, just a huge pet peeve of mine.

Pet peeve of mine, too. It was literally a joke because I've seen that lede once a year or so in
prep coverage.

I've also seen this type of lede a handful of times. I'm probably wrote a lead like that some years ago.

Would this be a better lede:

Bumbleburg shot the lights out Saturday night. Figuratively.

How about this?

Talk about shooting out the lights.

The Bumbleberg Stumblebums ...

Then you get away from that clunky literally/figuratively stuff.

Best idea (on this topic) yet.

 

[friend of the friendless]

Sirs, Madames,

The best line in anything I ever put on a page was a quote from a boxing trainer.

"He is, with all due respect, a scumbag."

YHS, etc

 

[farmerjerome]

In the late '90s, Vijay went low in the Masters first round to take an early lead, but then the rest of the day got washed out. My hedline: Singh, and then the rain.
Rip away.

I probably would have gone with ... Singh in in the rain.... if I was going for that.

Yeah, you and every other designer in the world. I saw a ton of those headlines.

But I still like it.

 

[Johnny Dangerously]

Singh, and then the rain.


Much more clever. I still like it. It sounds the same as the other when you hear it in your head, but it takes a more unexpected path. I like it.

It also accurately describes what happened, which is often overlooked in such cases.

 

[Point of Order]

Team B doesn't pose much of a threat, but just as a stingray can kill The Crocodile Hunter, Team B could surprise Team A if A lets its guard down.)

Sometimes one of these pops into my head and I know I shouldn't use it, but damned if I don't throw it into the story anyway. Some turn out okay, others fall flat and no one ever thinks they're as cute as I think they are. I tend to get too wordy. My best stuff is when each sentence pops with substance, and if the reader misses a line he will regret it. No transitions, but lots of flow. Haven't had one of those in a while, though.

 

[Columbo]

In the late '90s, Vijay went low in the Masters first round to take an early lead, but then the rest of the day got washed out. My hedline: Singh, and then the rain.
Rip away.

I probably would have gone with ... Singh in in the rain.... if I was going for that.

Yeah, you and every other designer in the world. I saw a ton of those headlines.

But I still like it.

LOL.

I've never seen either headline in a sports section... but I stipulate that my thought isn't as good.

 

[Bubbler]

I won a headline award once -- and pissed off several thin-skinned Christians -- when some dude with the last name Lord beat a Christian school on a last-second shot ...

LORD'S PRAYER SINKS GRACELAND CHRISTIAN

Man, those were some fun-ass complaint calls that day!

 

[pallister]

Heathen.

 

[Columbo]

Back about a dozen years ago, when the Seminoles crushed Clemson:

Hatfield: FSU the real McCoy

 

[MC Sports Guy]

I once wrote a headline for an AP story on post-9/11 sports - or lack thereof - in New York: "All Quiet on the Eastern Front." Was particularly proud of that one.

 

[I'll never tell]

I won a headline award once -- and pissed off several thin-skinned Christians -- when some dude with the last name Lord beat a Christian school on a last-second shot ...

LORD'S PRAYER SINKS GRACELAND CHRISTIAN

Man, those were some fun-ass complaint calls that day!

Damn baptist don't know a good headline from good wine