How does your family handle death?

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

That is an incredible story. I'm glad you had that experience, too.

 

[qtlaw]

One of my closest golfing buddies suddenly pashed away in the night earlier this week. He was only 58, heartbreaking. Our mutual friend called me about 9:30 am and I'm thinking what's the tee time and he tells me "Matt" is gone. I just broke down completely, like I was 10 and my dog died. It was rough. Even worse is I just saw him two months ago and was supposed to see him in a couple of weeks when I went to SD. The closest buddy I've lost ever. His wife is in a pincer move, she had just had the service for her mom the day before. Brutal.

I spoke to her last night and I felt bad breaking down on the phone and she broke down as well. She told me it was good for her because she needed to let down and stop "being strong" for a sec.

I'm chipping in my office and I'm hearing Matt in my head say something funny.

We're going to rename the annual golf buddies trip the Matt Memorial and start a college fund for his two girls (12 & 16). Sorry if this is off topic. Thanks for letting me share.

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

So sorry for your loss, QT.

 

[ChrisLong]

One of my closest golfing buddies suddenly pashed away in the night earlier this week. He was only 58, heartbreaking. Our mutual friend called me about 9:30 am and I'm thinking what's the tee time and he tells me "Matt" is gone. I just broke down completely, like I was 10 and my dog died. It was rough. Even worse is I just saw him two months ago and was supposed to see him in a couple of weeks when I went to SD. The closest buddy I've lost ever. His wife is in a pincer move, she had just had the service for her mom the day before. Brutal.

I spoke to her last night and I felt bad breaking down on the phone and she broke down as well. She told me it was good for her because she needed to let down and stop "being strong" for a sec.

I'm chipping in my office and I'm hearing Matt in my head say something funny.

We're going to rename the annual golf buddies trip the Matt Memorial and start a college fund for his two girls (12 & 16). Sorry if this is off topic. Thanks for letting me share.

Since 2013, we have a golf tournament every year that honors the memory of the daughter of a friend. She died from cancer at age 24. She was a UDub grad who had done humanitarian work in Africa and South America. The tournament has gone from 3-4 guys to eight or nine foursomes. ALL of us graduated from the same high school between 1967 and 1975. Some of the guys have known each other since kindergarten. We are all between age 68 and 76 now. Including spouses and a few who just attend to reunite, it's a group of more than 50. We have been friends for more than 50 years.

The second year (2014), they decided to start a foundation and asked for donations, although no one was required to contribute. All go to the University of Washington Department of Education. The tally now is approaching $220,000 ... all from private donations. The foundation has reached endowment status so it replenishes each year after two or three grants of a few thousand dollars are awarded. The tournament is named for the deceased daughter. She also played volleyball and some money is donated to her club and high school programs.

A few years ago, one of our friends died. He was an excellent golfer who qualified for the U.S. Senior Open twice. He originally started our tournament with a ceremonial first drive. In the scramble format, the foursomes could use his drive or their own on the first hole. After he died, his best friend, also an excellent golfer, stepped in to replace him. After the ceremonial drive, the tourney host sprinkles some of the deceased's ashes in the fairway where the ball stopped. And another friend donated a crystal trophy in the name of the deceased. The winners' names are engraved on it each year.

 

[BurnsWhenIPee]

darn, Chris, that's so inspirational.

Talk about leaving a legacy. In the end, feels like that's the best thing that can be said about somebody.

 

[Deskgrunt50]

One of my closest golfing buddies suddenly pashed away in the night earlier this week. He was only 58, heartbreaking. Our mutual friend called me about 9:30 am and I'm thinking what's the tee time and he tells me "Matt" is gone. I just broke down completely, like I was 10 and my dog died. It was rough. Even worse is I just saw him two months ago and was supposed to see him in a couple of weeks when I went to SD. The closest buddy I've lost ever. His wife is in a pincer move, she had just had the service for her mom the day before. Brutal.

I spoke to her last night and I felt bad breaking down on the phone and she broke down as well. She told me it was good for her because she needed to let down and stop "being strong" for a sec.

I'm chipping in my office and I'm hearing Matt in my head say something funny.

We're going to rename the annual golf buddies trip the Matt Memorial and start a college fund for his two girls (12 & 16). Sorry if this is off topic. Thanks for letting me share.

Condolences. It's good you allow yourself to grieve. It's not all that easy, in my experience.

I have group of friends that sounds a lot like yours. We all go back many, many years. The top reason we all still see each other each year is because one of our group died in college. We did a charity golf event each year to raise money for a scholarship in his name, and we continue to carve out that same time each year to get together.

I hope your group can enjoy the same experience we have, and honor his memory through stories of the great times.

 

[tea and ease]

One of my closest golfing buddies suddenly pashed away in the night earlier this week. He was only 58, heartbreaking. Our mutual friend called me about 9:30 am and I'm thinking what's the tee time and he tells me "Matt" is gone. I just broke down completely, like I was 10 and my dog died. It was rough. Even worse is I just saw him two months ago and was supposed to see him in a couple of weeks when I went to SD. The closest buddy I've lost ever. His wife is in a pincer move, she had just had the service for her mom the day before. Brutal.

I spoke to her last night and I felt bad breaking down on the phone and she broke down as well. She told me it was good for her because she needed to let down and stop "being strong" for a sec.

I'm chipping in my office and I'm hearing Matt in my head say something funny.

We're going to rename the annual golf buddies trip the Matt Memorial and start a college fund for his two girls (12 & 16). Sorry if this is off topic. Thanks for letting me share.

Things like this, so recent, so real, just hit the heart. Keep chipping toward the fun memories.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

My dad pashed away a little more than a month now. He was the one I featured in a post some of you may have seen on another thread about memorable vacations (we went to the Baseball HOF, Basketball HOF and met Red Auerbach on one trip).

He was about two months shy of his 83rd. Sadly, it was self-inflicted. He was dealing with issues with his bones and joints, and it was badly painful for him. From what my mom said, in the middle of the night one night, he went out to the pond in their backyard (it's a 55+ community outside Summerville, SC) and drowned himself. My mom got up during the night for whatever reason, went into the living room and noticed she couldn't hear my dad's CPAP machine going (they had different bedrooms). That's when she found the note my dad left and called the first responders, who eventually found my dad.

I'm glad he is no longer in pain, but a piece of me was angry with what he had to put my mom through. They were married for just shy of 54 years, and this was supposed to be their deserved retirement home. They had moved down there in 2020 (right as COVID shut everything down) after selling our family home of 40 years (we are a family of six, so obviously it was a house that was far beyond their needs with all of us grown).

I got the call from mom on a Monday morning. I was in the parking lot of a local rec center after dropping my 11-year-old son off for his day of summer camp. I let my son enjoy his day of camp, and then my wife and I broke the news to him later that afternoon. He had his tears, but bounced back pretty quickly. It was similar to when we had to take our cat into the vet to put her down.

As for my mom that day, she fortunately has a sister who lives in another Charleston suburb, who spent the rest of the day with her until one of my brothers was able to arrive after flying down from DC. We then went down there the following weekend. I know it was great therapy for her -- she was able to take my son out for their usual "date" of McDonald's, Target and bowling.

Since then, my mom is doing well (she says has her solemn moments), but I can't imagine having to remain in that house, especially when she can look out the windows in the back and see where my dad died. Eventually, I can see her moving back up here to the Atlanta area, where myself and one of my other brothers live. The move from GA to SC was definitely for my dad (even in his obit, it said they moved "to follow his hobbies"). Just don't know when my mom can move, because she has a lot of hoops to go through, especially considering the circumstances of the death.

I'm so sorry. Peace to you and your family.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

One of my closest golfing buddies suddenly pashed away in the night earlier this week. He was only 58, heartbreaking. Our mutual friend called me about 9:30 am and I'm thinking what's the tee time and he tells me "Matt" is gone. I just broke down completely, like I was 10 and my dog died. It was rough. Even worse is I just saw him two months ago and was supposed to see him in a couple of weeks when I went to SD. The closest buddy I've lost ever. His wife is in a pincer move, she had just had the service for her mom the day before. Brutal.

I spoke to her last night and I felt bad breaking down on the phone and she broke down as well. She told me it was good for her because she needed to let down and stop "being strong" for a sec.

I'm chipping in my office and I'm hearing Matt in my head say something funny.

We're going to rename the annual golf buddies trip the Matt Memorial and start a college fund for his two girls (12 & 16). Sorry if this is off topic. Thanks for letting me share.

My condolences. May Matt's memory be a blessing.

 

[dixiehack]

I'm so very sorry to hear that. Grave and peace to you all, but your mom most especially.

Holy ship that's an egregious typo I can no longer edit. I am so, so sorry.

Grace and peace.

 

[MileHigh]

Holy ship that's an egregious typo I can no longer edit. I am so, so sorry.

Grace and peace.

You can't edit your own posts? Sigh.

Fixed it for you.

If you can't edit your own post and need a fix, please drop me or other mods a DM and we'll fix things for you (and others).

 

[dixiehack]

You can't edit your own posts? Sigh.

Fixed it for you.

If you can't edit your own post and need a fix, please drop me or other mods a DM and we'll fix things for you (and others).

The functionality disappears after a couple of days. For most typos, I would laugh it off. That one, yeesh.