Man, there is a lot of good advice here. And, none of us hear it enough, but nice job, people, as parents. Y'all did well, and continue to do well.
I'll share some of our experience when the kid began college three years ago. Her experience is a bit different because she's pursuing a BFA in Musical Theatre, so a lot of auditioning and needing to get an offer, rather than just acceptance. We were also fortunate that academics were never an issue and we have a driven, pashionate kid. We cast a wide net, but knew that her doing this was going to limit her pool of choices no matter what.
She was offered to two schools/programs in NYC, which, yeah, is a long way from NC (550 miles by way of car). She had two offers from in-state schools/programs. We were fortunate that we were just coming out of COVID and could visit and tour in NYC. We had a lot of experience visiting the city, but being able to tour immediately made the choice come down to those two schools than the other offers. She wanted to be in the city, and realized it. Don't lose sight that y'all have been able to choose a spot you obviously like.
Again, her experience is different because her program is small - and got smaller. Her Clash of '25 in the program started with 36 kids; they are at 25 now. And they're from all over the country - friends from NE, Texas, Ohio, VA, Los Angeles, AZ, and on an on, and diverse as hell. The city - and the grind of musical theatre study - is not for everyone once it truly begins to become their life's work.
And that's what it is. She has a very, very close group of friends because those 25 are always together. But that's also made navigating the city and outlying boroughs easier and more seamless. It's also made her grow up really fast. Her mom and I always knew that so much of her college experience and education was just living there, and while that's different in a big city, that's true anywhere. She knows the subway system and LIRR cold, but that also means having a schedule to adhere to and figure out. It turned out she was the kid of her friend group that they all lean on to navigate, and that makes me really happy. The tiny, petite kid from rural NC is the leader walking around.
She is so independent now, just jumps up and goes to do whatever it is that needs to be done in that moment, and quickly, because time is precious. She talks faster, is more opinionated, is in terrific shape and her sense of humor is hilariously sarcastic and biting. And, goddam, her friends are FRIENDS.
This is probably the last summer she'll be home - and even this summer, she spent part of it back at her apartment in Brooklyn - and real trepidation starts this year as she's ready to graduate. She'll always have to hustle and none of us know if there will be opportunities for her to perform after all this. And there will be plenty of times she won't be working in her field. Thank goodness most of this all was paid for through scholarship.
That's a lot of words to say: do your best to let her go, allow her to thrive and figure things and people out, make sure to go to clash and always do the ashigned reading. The line above about being a young adult in a new place while going to college instead of a "college student" is terrific advice. And also know, hey, none of this is planned. You can't know anything and everything. So always look ahead, move forward to the next day and let things evolve. They will, one way or another, and you and your kid will eventually get to, literally, the place and person they are really going to be. Be their rock, but also be their friend, perhaps even a little more than you ever have. Listening and being ready with a "I hear you" and "I understand" matters more than "I told you so" or "darn it, what?!"
It's hard to believe we sent our kid off to NYC and then my wife and I just came home. It's hard to believe I drove a Penske rental van 552 miles and moved her into a Brooklyn apartment two summers ago.
What's also hard to believe - and this especially goes for you - is how fast all of this has gone, and how close to done we already are. We always think life moves fast, but nothing in our lives has moved faster than "The Kid: Her College Years." Soak up as much of it as you can. It'll be the time of her life. In time, you'll realize it's the time of yours, too.