HELP! I'm struggling with an important decision

[britwrit]

Here's an interesting question for no one in particular but inspired by this thread. I can't answer this:

A person is born and raised in a small town/rural area. They graduate high school and move away for 25-30 years. They live in bigger areas, travel, see things, actually do stuff, etc. They decide to "go back home."
What do they expect?
Do they still consider themselves "from there" even though they have lived more of their life away from it?
Do they think time stood still while they were gone?
Do they expect to be welcomed back like a conquering hero?
Do they think it will be like a Hallmark movie?
Do they expect to be a fish out of water?
Do they expect to be seen as an outsider?
Do they expect anyone they knew as a child to know or care who they are?
Why would they care if anyone they knew as a child knew or cared who they were?

I think it's an interesting conversation to have.

All of my friends have moved far away from hometown. The childhood home was sold ten years ago and even most of the old neighbors are gone. That being said, while I would never think realistically like that, it's a potent fantasy. Especially, uh, if you're in the throes of mid-life crisis.

Move back to hometown - or better yet, where you went to college - and you're magically nineteen again! Who wouldn't sign up for something like that?

 

[three_bags_full]

Here's an interesting question for no one in particular but inspired by this thread. I can't answer this:

A person is born and raised in a small town/rural area. They graduate high school and move away for 25-30 years. They live in bigger areas, travel, see things, actually do stuff, etc. They decide to "go back home."
What do they expect?
Do they still consider themselves "from there" even though they have lived more of their life away from it?
Do they think time stood still while they were gone?
Do they expect to be welcomed back like a conquering hero?
Do they think it will be like a Hallmark movie?
Do they expect to be a fish out of water?
Do they expect to be seen as an outsider?
Do they expect anyone they knew as a child to know or care who they are?
Why would they care if anyone they knew as a child knew or cared who they were?

I think it's an interesting conversation to have.

This is something I've considered quite a bit.

Most of the folks I grew up with are still relatively close. Some live up in Birmingham, but most are still nearby. I'm still relatively close with many of them thanks to social media. I talk and text with a few of them several times a year.

I still consider myself "from" there, but I would expect to feel like a fish out of water or an outsider. When I'm home and see folks in town, it certainly feels different. If I go back, I'll have been gone for more than 25 years.

But that feeling is one we're certainly used to. We've moved nearly every two years, so we start over all the time. New schools, new neighbors, new sports teams for the kids.

 

[three_bags_full]

I really appreciate all the discussion.

I guess at the end of the day, it all boils down to three things. Do I want to:

Live somewhere cheap, and secure our financial future in retirement?
Be close to family?
But at the same time, send my son to a school that isn't as good as the one he's in now?

Even though I don't care at all for the politics, I can live with that.

 

[justgladtobehere]

@three_bags_full did you know you were a response in Jeopardy?

 

[three_bags_full]

I did not. Now I'm intrigued.

 

[wicked]

I love the neighborhood I grew up in much more now. It's turned from a working clash organized crime-run backwater into a yuppie-filled scrappy neighborhood with all the old houses and all the new restaurants. Sometimes I feel like a sellout for that line of thinking and I hate that many good people have been forced out by rising rents and rising taxes, but it's definitely a better culture than it was 40 years ago. Back then your career options were becoming a priest, a policeman, a politician or a prisoner.

 

[justgladtobehere]

I did not. Now I'm intrigued.

Not you, exactly.

800 Detective Fiction:

The detectives were sheep investigating the murder of their shepherd in this bestseller w/ a title from a nursery rhyme.

TS: Three Bags Full (by Leonie Swann in 2005)

When I see your name, I always think '3 bags full of ship. ' Not because of you. It is just how I complete the phrase in my head. Didn't know it was a nursery rhyme.

 

[Hermes]

I don't want to be 19 again, but I do want to move to a college town soon because I want the cultural advantages while still living in a smaller setting. A town of 30k to 50k with a Division I college hits the sweet spot for what I want in life.

But not…Muncie, Indiana.

 

[Turtle Wexler]

Apologies if this has been mentioned and I missed it, t_b_f, but you might want to give a small thought to that locale relative to where your kids end up a few years after that. Would you be somewhat near a decent airport?

If your daughter (and/or son) goes to college in Virginia, what does the cost and time of travel look like for her to come home during school breaks? Or will she be one of the "left behinds" on Thanksgiving because the travel is too complex? If 15 years from now your son has your grandkids, but he lives in, say, rural Minnesota, how often would you be able to travel to see them? How much of a pain in the ash and/or wallet would it be?

My parents moved to BFE in a different state when I was in my early 20s and I barely went to that place. They couldn't guarantee me a three hour round trip airport pickup (which I understand) and I was too young/broke to rent a car. They ended up moving after a few years (for job reasons), but boy did they bench that I never visited.

 

[micropolitan guy]

I don't want to be 19 again, but I do want to move to a college town soon because I want the cultural advantages while still living in a smaller setting. A town of 30k to 50k with a Division I college hits the sweet spot for what I want in life.

But not…Muncie, Indiana.

Mt. Pleasant? Ypsilanti? Bowling Green? Athens? Oxford? Kent? Dekalb? You'd almost have your pick of MAC schools. Pullman/Moscow. Corvallis.

 

[DanOregon]

Another thing to consider given your status TBF is access to local VA services.

 

[Twirling Time]

The affordable backyard seems to be the defining factor for suburbans. Never mind the 4 bedrooms and 3 baths.

I'm already halfway to a millionaire based on the property I own, but I'd have sell out to buy the Clampett mansion to live in the city. I like SoCal but not that much.