The Five Songs You Never-Ever Wanna Hear Again

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

There's an "Almost (To) Paradise" joke in here somewhere, but I'll let it lie. Or, um, I guess not.

Whoa oh almost paradise
We're knocking on Denny's door
Almost paradise
Over 55 discount, how could we ask for more?
I swear I see pancake batter in your eyes
Paradise

 

[Starman]

I saw Chuck Berry at the Missouri State Fair in 1988. He looked old, likely was drunk, could barely play and interrupted three different songs to yell at the drummer. "Whose show is this? You think this is your show? It's my forking show."

If you haven't seen the concert movie "Hail Hail Rock and Roll," starring Chuck Berry and Keith Richards, see it immediately (I ashume you probably have). Made for Chuck's 60th birthday in 1986 I believe.

KEITH RICHARDS for Christ's sake plays the disciplined organized musical director for the truly stellar all-star band. Chuck plays the obnoxious spoiled prima donna forking everything up throughout. By the end, Keith, who had revered Berry as a god for 30 years, was ready to kick his ash.

Berry was legendary for never using a touring band, he simply ordered promoters to supply him with a band which could play "Chuck Berry music," and he was also legendary for being nasty/ abusive/ standoffish to the pickup bands, refusing to take pictures, etc etc. He took his payment in a briefcase full of cash, jumped in his car and left. (What a shock he would get into IRS problems.)

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

A college buddy's father-in-law did that for Berry once. By all accounts, it went as you described.

 

[Starman]

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band stepped in for the pickup band at one gig in the late 90s (I think it was about the time of the Reunion Tour), supposedly totally as a surprise to Berry.
Supposedly Berry did give some slight sign of recognition to Bruce, but then when Bruce said, "most of us played as your backup band in 1971 in Jersey (or whenever it was),you remember that?" Berry said, "Nah. Why the fork would I remember that?"

 

[Junkie]

I can't imagine seeing any band, whether I adored them when I was 19 or not, at a county fair and expect any standard at all. The prevailing thought in my mind being that they're past their prime and hanging on.

I have mixed emotions on the fair circuit. On one hand, they're playing at fairs, with carnies in every direction. On the other hand, they're still playing.

I had the opportunity about a month ago to preview Lou Gramm's appearance at a local fair, which I did mainly to see if I could get to talk to Lou Gramm. It took me a 12-second Google search and one email to set up an interview. Gramm actually called me -- no intermediary -- and said, "Hello, Junkie? This is Lou Gramm. ..." We spent 45 minutes on the phone and I actually had to end the call. He was glad someone wanted to talk with him about the olden days; apparently media types don't call him much anymore.

His show was, eh. How good do you expect a 73-year-old who can barely move to sound? Actually, not nearly as good as Gramm did sound, which was very surprising. I parlayed this into an opportunity to hang for 10 minutes after the show with the guy who once upon a time was lead vocalist in my favorite band during high school. He told a cool story about playing pool with John Lennon. And I parlayed that 10-minute meeting into a five-minute meeting with his bashist, Tony Franklin, who played 40-ish years ago with Kate Bush on what was at the time her only live performance of "Runnin' Up That Hill" (which despite being a hit during my peak music listening days, I did not know was a song until it re-broke last year during "Stranger Things"). On lead guitar for that mid-80s Kate Bush gig? None other than David Gilmour. Franklin was amazed I knew any of this, and I was amazed that he got to play with Gilmour. So, by the way, was he.

And I got an elephant ear. Advantage, fairs.

 

[Starman]

Berry demanding his money in suitcases of cash was apparently virtually universal knowledge on the rock band circuit. You'd think word about that would have gotten around pretty quick and somebody would have started knocking over Chuck for his suitcases of cash after gigs.
There's probably a hilarious buddy movie/road movie/gangster movie in that whole story.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

If you haven't seen the concert movie "Hail Hail Rock and Roll," starring Chuck Berry and Keith Richards, see it immediately (I ashume you probably have). Made for Chuck's 60th birthday in 1986 I believe.

KEITH RICHARDS for Christ's sake plays the disciplined organized musical director for the truly stellar all-star band. Chuck plays the obnoxious spoiled prima donna forking everything up throughout. By the end, Keith, who had revered Berry as a god for 30 years, was ready to kick his ash.

Berry was legendary for never using a touring band, he simply ordered promoters to supply him with a band which could play "Chuck Berry music," and he was also legendary for being nasty/ abusive/ standoffish to the pickup bands, refusing to take pictures, etc etc. He took his payment in a briefcase full of cash, jumped in his car and left. (What a shock he would get into IRS problems.)

Maybe he was giving his cousin a kickback for introducing him to the new sound he was looking for from some weird guy playing at a high school dance.

 

[BYH 2: Electric Boogaloo]

Maybe he was giving his cousin a kickback for introducing him to the new sound he was looking for from some weird guy playing at a high school dance.

You take your like and you get out of here.

 

[Starman]

Maybe he was giving his cousin a kickback for introducing him to the new sound he was looking for from some weird guy playing at a high school dance.

Little was it known was the school janitor at the school dance that night was Fredrik "Freddie" Van Halen, who took notes for his toddler nephew Eddie.

 

[Slacker]

I have mixed emotions on the fair circuit. On one hand, they're playing at fairs, with carnies in every direction. On the other hand, they're still playing.

I had the opportunity about a month ago to preview Lou Gramm's appearance at a local fair, which I did mainly to see if I could get to talk to Lou Gramm. It took me a 12-second Google search and one email to set up an interview. Gramm actually called me -- no intermediary -- and said, "Hello, Junkie? This is Lou Gramm. ..." We spent 45 minutes on the phone and I actually had to end the call. He was glad someone wanted to talk with him about the olden days; apparently media types don't call him much anymore.

His show was, eh. How good do you expect a 73-year-old who can barely move to sound? Actually, not nearly as good as Gramm did sound, which was very surprising. I parlayed this into an opportunity to hang for 10 minutes after the show with the guy who once upon a time was lead vocalist in my favorite band during high school. He told a cool story about playing pool with John Lennon. And I parlayed that 10-minute meeting into a five-minute meeting with his bashist, Tony Franklin, who played 40-ish years ago with Kate Bush on what was at the time her only live performance of "Runnin' Up That Hill" (which despite being a hit during my peak music listening days, I did not know was a song until it re-broke last year during "Stranger Things"). On lead guitar for that mid-80s Kate Bush gig? None other than David Gilmour. Franklin was amazed I knew any of this, and I was amazed that he got to play with Gilmour. So, by the way, was he.

And I got an elephant ear. Advantage, fairs.

"More cowbell, Lou!"​

 

[Slacker]

Lou Gramm also had a darn good rocker on his own with "Midnight Blue" in 1987 ...

 

[Songbird]

Looks like The Pretenders were playing a fair here ...