Worst Movie Sequel Ever

[DanOregon]

COVID 19 pretty much sucks.

 

[swingline]

Starman-
Portman went from studying the affectations of Lauren Bacall for her role in The Phantom Menace (and you can see this hokey accent was shirtcanned for episodes II and III) to sleepwalking through the final installment.
This is someone who'd always taken herself dreadfully seriously and once had the total lack of self-awareness to say:
"I don't care if college ruins my career. I'd rather be smart than a movie star."
That statement after making a movie that grossed $900 million.
Worst actor/actress in the franchise.

Worse than Christensen? That dude makes Kaw-Liga look animated by comparison.

 

[3_Octave_Fart]

I think Christensen was making an effort.
He seems to be a well-meaning goober who likes making bad movies and fighting HIV in Africa.
You can't make chicken salad out of chicken shirt and nor can any actor, thespian or no, make it work with lines like "But I'm trying, Master."

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Can ya gamble on Star Wars? Fill out a Star Wars bracket? Nevermind, ya probably can...

Jar Jar Binks sucked so bad, the NCAA put Cleveland State back on probation.

 

[DanOregon]

Well, this isn't the worst idea of a movie sequel. I'm really surprised there hasn't been a sequel to The Big Chill. The cast is still around and would probably do it for scale and back-end profits.

 

[micropolitan guy]

Well, this isn't the worst idea of a movie sequel. I'm really surprised there hasn't been a sequel to The Big Chill. The cast is still around and would probably do it for scale and back-end profits.

JoBeth Williams and Berringer could get married, since JoBeth's movie husband has died. I think everyone else is still alive; William Hurt just looks dead.

 

[3_Octave_Fart]

I think that's a great idea.

 

[Starman]

Zombie Alex (Kevin Costner) could come hunt them down.

Then all the Michigan alums could sit around and bench at Harbaugh on the teevee.

 

[Tweener]

Rocky V has a soft spot in my heart just because there are some great quotable lines from it:

• "Get up you son of a bench!"
• "You knocked him down. Now why don't you try knockin' me down now..."
• "God damn! Only in America."

"Touch me, I'll sue!"

 

[DanOregon]

JoBeth Williams and Berringer could get married, since JoBeth's movie husband has died. I think everyone else is still alive; William Hurt just looks dead.

No doubt JoBeth and Berringer would be the Trumpers in the group. Hurt would be a male Marianne Williamson. Goldblum would have created a string of really bad sitcoms and dramedies that none of his friends ever watches. Kline and Close would have conciously uncoupled - and Kline and Mary Kay Place would both be married to people 20 years younger than themselves. I'm thinking Close would have discovered she's gay and has a partner. The real question would be whether any of them would have a non-white friend.

 

[micropolitan guy]

And Kline and Place's love child would be a community organizer someplace with a nice trust fund from Kline's shoe business.

 

[DanOregon]

Place was the shoe exec. And the rest of the crowd would grill her for all the child labor abuses. The love child would be the key protagonist though - constantly ripping his or her parents for how self-absorbed they were.
"Yeah you protested the war. Funny how the protests stopped as soon as they ended the draft."
"You worked your way through Michigan? You got in with a 2.8 GPA? You left with no debt? Wow, that's amazing!"
"It's nice that you like Motown, but why don't you all have any friends who aren't white? How could you stand to live in South Carolina?"
"So Medicare is great for you, but not everyone else?
"I really think it's great you're still working - because you want to, not because you need to - a lot of my friends are stuck behind several people of your generation, and we're still renting because we can't afford to buy. But you do you!"
"You talk about Alex like his suicide was a tragedy - the real tragedy is how you all continue to talk about the past and how great it was, not what you're doing to make the present a better place. Maybe it's because you can't."